As we slide well into the 21st century, the life of a snowman is becoming ever more treacherous. Despite a recent population boom in light of early February’s snow flurries, they face the fiery problem of Global Warming. To add insult to injury, there have even been reports of snowman beheadings in Chiswick.

Snowmen have settled on the earth since medieval times (as documented in The History of the Snowman). The first image dates back to 1830, in the “Book of Hours” found in The Hague. Snowmen’s purpose in life is most commonly to provide entertainment to children, and the children inside many men. Yet, mass colonisation does occur at winter festivals when their presence is seen more as a form of art. However, in January 2006, a population of Snowmen occurred as a mark of protest against Global Warming in America. Approximately 30,000 whole snowmen attended the protest.

The optimum time for snowmen is when the snow begins to melt slightly and becomes easier to compact. This allows for the construction of a large snowball by simply rolling it, until it grows to the desired size. There is variation between snowmen across the globe; the typical European or American snowman has three spheres (a head, torso and lower body) whereas Asian snowmen have two spheres after the rounder shape of the Daruma doll. There is also significant variation in the size of snowmen. The largest recorded, “Olympia Snowe” (2008), being 122ft 1 inch in height whilst the smallest being thinner than the width of the human hair. This miniature individual was created by David Cox in the National Physical Laboratory in West London.

The consensus opinion on snowman fashion is that they are dressed with rocks, sticks, vegetables and ironically hats and scarves. Sadly, this usually marks the end of the human contact they receive in their life; although they have been sung about to the catchy tune of “Frosty the snowman” since the 1950s. However, one famous but abnormal interaction a snowman had with a boy is the heart of the classic book and film, “The Snowman”. First published as a novel by Raymond Briggs in 1978 the story, film adaptation of 1982 and its only song “Walking in the Air” will eternally warm the hearts of millions.

2012 brought an icy contrast however; snowmen inhabiting Homefield Recreation Ground in Chiswick, London have been beheaded by council contractors. These workmen deliberately beheaded snowmen for “damaging the grass” and in the name of health and safety. With their kicking down and sawing off, an avalanche of dismay by residents, observers and families was unleashed. After similar reports in Cambridge and Enfield, it seems that this is a hurdle many future snowmen will have to face.

Snowmen, abandoned once completed, fade away with time. But they never die, only move on to become water that quenches the thirst of millions and may one day return as some other snowman, woman or sculpture; a fantastical form of recycling.

Emma Norton