MR WALTERS, meet my cat Izzy. Apparently you have foxes in Sidcup who are about to bring down humans.

Only one look from my cat, here in Bexleyheath and they seem to run a mile.

Maybe the cats are just harder here in this postcode or maybe you are just an idiot.

Whatever the case, please reply to this letter as I have not had such a good laugh in months.

NAME AND ADDRESS SUPPLIED
(an animal extremist)