A SELF-CONFESSED practical joker is throwing a funeral party for himself.

David Greig decided to hold his own wake after becoming concerned none of his friends would survive to see him off.

The 83-year-old former fusilier belongs to several different ex-service organisations and recently found himself attending lots of funerals.

He said: "At my age I am on the countdown myself, so I have decided to have my wake while I am still here. If I'm paying for it, I want to there in person, not spirit."

Mr Greig, who claims to have once attended five funerals in one day, claims during a busy spell, he has been to at least two a week.

In preparation for his wake, the father-of-two, of Gillmans Road, Orpington, has sent out more than 100 invitations and has had around 50 confirmations already.

The widower, who worked as a fireman during the Blitz, took part in the Normandy Landings and has been a member of the British Red Cross for over 40 years.

After being demobbed, he trained as a barber and ran his own business in Lewisham, where unsuspecting customers were treated to whoopee cushions and other practical jokes.

The grandfather-of-three, whose wife Elsie died in 1977, puts his own longevity down to good food, exercise and being happy in life.

He added: "You know, I once heard a rumour I had died. I still consider myself super-fit, but with all these people dying, I'm worried I'm going to be the last one to go and when I pop off, there will be no-one there.

"I want to be there myself, so that's what I am doing. None of my friends were surprised, they think it's hilarious.

"They are going to turn up and say oh you old bugger, are you still here?'."

Greig will be the guest of honour at his own wake on June 24 at the United Services Club, Sidcup.