Reviews online have become an excellent way to judge whether you should visit somewhere, be it a restaurant or a tourist attraction.

Sometimes though you might use it if you are being forced to go somewhere and wanted to see what it was like before you get there.

Thankfully for people who are going to one of the two major prisons in Woolwich and Thamesmead, namely HMP Thameside and HMP Belmarsh, helpful people have been leaving TripAdvisor-style reviews for the prisons online.

Among the reviews on Facebook HMP Belmarsh, a maximum security prison housing some of the most dangerous criminals in the UK, is one critique by Richard Hornby, who was less than impressed by the service in the prison.

Giving the venue one star, he wrote: “Food was very poor, beds lumpy and no central heating on at night, good rates though.”

Barrow Lowden was slightly more impressed, writing: “Furniture was slightly damaged and it could have done with a lick of paint but all aside not too bad.

“Very warm welcome by the staff, showed to my room which I must say was a surprise to find it occupied by 2 other guest.

“We had some noisy guests though at a neighbouring room but the staff must of dealt with it as I see them charging in with their batons raised.”

Other reviews left on Google were harsh as well, with one review criticising it for the lack of previously advertised marmalade butties.

Tom Nel wrote: “The beds were okay and the food was served punctually. My bunk mate, two-eyes Larry, kept me good company, and only tried to strangle me in my sleep once.”

For HMP Thameside, Matt Green’s review was at least impressed by the food. He wrote: “I made some nice friends there too and the chocolate cake and mint custard was to die for (no pun intended).”

In short, most of the reviews are perhaps by people who quite possibly never attended the prison, although you do get the occasional review from someone that sounds rather more authentic.

One anonymous review of HMP Thameside on Google said: “Funny watching you babies at Belmarsh cry best bit of the yard. Hilarious, bit annoying but well funny.”