There’s no glitz or glam with these awards – or in fact any actual prize – just some mealy-mouthed praise and lashings of sneering resentment. Roll up for PubSpy’s Golden Pint and Grotty Toilet awards 2014.
The Golden Pint
One of the nice things about being PubSpy is getting to see a real range of watering holes.
Even among the high quality places I love, there is such variety. From the unexpected surprise of New Ash Green’s The Badger - trashed online but fun - to the vintage chic and delicious grub of the Jam Circus in Brockley or Royal Albert in New Cross or the rarified atmosphere of The British Queen or Greenwich Union.
The British Queen, Locksbottom
More often than not, the thing that has been most satisfying this year has been the explosion of variety in the booze stakes.
Even the big brewery pubs are experimenting with ales while, love them or loathe them, Wetherspoons always have some nice tipples on tap.
Few places will match the likes of the Greenwich Union, however, for staggering range.
All of these were worthy contenders but there is only one winner of PubSpy’s Golden Pint award.
And that is Petts Wood’s own One Inn the Wood.
Micro pubs are really taking off in south east London and north Kent and this is a shining example.
Small but with a kind of simple carpenter’s elegance, it takes its beer seriously and serves only the best, some incredible bar snacks and importantly goes its own way.
Well done, guys.
WINNER: The One Inn the Wood, Petts Wood
The Grotty Toilet Award
With a real range of pubs, you will inevitably find yourself in a cess pit from time to time and this year I had the displeasure of visiting some right holes.
Despite recommendations, The White Swan in Ash was supremely unwelcoming. The Cock Inn in Halstead had a pair of sweaty, sweary chubsters bringing the place down (though it shouldn’t write off the whole pub).
The Volunteer was simply grim.
But, really, there was only ever one contender for this prestigious award.
The Lullingstone Castle was our runner up last year, but this year nail the top (or bottom) spot by some distance.
Not only is it a wasteland surrounded by craters, the interior is gauche and it is populated by tracksuited zombies with their kids doing homework and dirty talking chavs.
Some places have karaoke for entertainment; The Lully seems to have violence.
Avoid.
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