A rare Palace home win sunk Villa on Saturday, leaving us in fifth - YES FIFTH - place in the Premier League, with European football next year very much still in our hands.

Amid fresh rumours of an approach for Charlie Austin, Scott Dann continues to prove he is in fact a goal machine.

I don’t see why we don’t just forget about Austin and stick Dann up front – at least he has all of his ligaments (if you’re reading this Mr Pardew, I’m only joking. Please can we buy Charlie Austin. Please).

We could have won by more had Dwight Gayle’s 'goal' via James McArthur's chest not been ruled out.

Although in hindsight it was the correct decision, it is difficult to keep up, as those in charge seem to change the offside rule more often than Jonny Williams picks up an injury.

Steve Parish has spoken of his desire for a cup run this year and it all kicks off tonight

As Alan Smith drew the balls for the second round of the Capital One Cup, I can imagine most Palace fans were in the same situation as I was.

In true Harry Potter sorting hat fashion, I found myself crossing my fingers, closing my eyes and whispering to myself.

“Not Shrewsbury. Not Shrewsbury. Please, anyone but Shrewsbury.”

But it wasn’t to be, as Shrewsbury Town were unveiled as our opponents.

I suppose it’s true what they say – to be the best, you have to beat the best.

I just hope that they rest a couple of their key players so we have a chance of producing one of the most unlikely giant killings in history and get through to the next round.

This is one of those games that comes around once in a lifetime for a club like ours, and certainly one Yohan Cabaye will have been excited about swapping Champions League football for before he signed.

We travel to Chelsea this weekend and they haven’t been anywhere near their best this season, which has left me in a bit of a sticky situation.

As I take breaks from listening to Taylor Swift and scribbling ‘I heart Yohan Cabaye’ in my diary, I fancy myself as a bit of fantasy league expert, and I really thought that this was going to be my year.

At the beginning of the season, content with the majority of my squad, I knocked on the chairman’s door.

“Look, I really feel like I have a chance of winning the Fantasy Premier League this season,” I said, with hopeful enthusiasm.

“There’s just one more signing I need to make.”

He told me he would support my ambitious transfer requests with a sizeable budget, as long as I guaranteed they pulled their weight and ultimately were worth the money.

So we made a few phone calls, did a bit of negotiating, and shelled out £11.5 million on Eden Hazard.

Three poor games and a pitiful EIGHT fantasy league points later, I’m regretting my decision.

It’s time for a change, but I’m in two minds.

This Saturday he comes up against Palace and while I would love for him to underperform again, I just know that as soon as I replace him he’ll find some form and have the game of his life.

If we want to get anything out of the game at Stamford Bridge, then our strikers are going to need to be on form, as with John Terry suspended we have lost our main goal threat.

It will be interesting to see if this is the game Chelsea finally get going, but I doubt Jpse Mourinho will be losing much sleep, as there are plenty of innocent members of staff left to blame if things don’t go his way.

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