Why I miss northern grimness when I follow Millwall away (From News Shopper)

Why I miss northern grimness when I follow Millwall away

1:40pm Tuesday 20th December 2011 in Millwall

NEWS Shopper online’s Millwall columnist MATT LITTLE bemoans the soulless new stadiums found in the north of England after Saturday’s trip to Hull City’s shiny new KC Arena.

WHEN I was growing up I used to love the re-runs of classic 70s sitcom ‘The Likely Lads’.

The nostalgic look at how everything you hold dear, your hair-line, your favourite pub, your neighbourhood, changes, and not always for the better, was entertaining stuff.

The signature tune had the line ‘whatever happened to you?’ in it, and more and more these days I think this about some of Millwall’s opponents, especially the northern ones.

The north of England used to be home to some of this country’s most atmospheric old grounds and the likes of Ayresome Park, the Victoria Ground, Roker Park, Filbert Street and the Baseball Ground really could raise a racket.

And yes, Derby and Leicester is the north to us south Londoners, they’re both past the Watford Gap.

These old grounds used to be filled with tough old miners, shipbuilders and car and metal workers, so it’s quite a sight to see these clubs playing at characterless bowl stadiums in front of club-shop bedecked odd-balls dancing around to goal celebration music these days.

Saturday’s opponents Hull City are one of the most extreme examples of this transformation.

The old Boothferry Park, scene of Millwall’s greatest ever achievement – promotion to the top flight in 1988 as champions - was a rough old place filled with rough old people.

Hull the place still is rough, not in a romantic sepia kind of way, but in a depressingly bleak and hopeless one.

Yet the football team play in a shiny plastic bowl stadium where the locals sing ‘you’re getting mauled by the tigers’, complete with camp mock mauling actions.

I don’t know about you but when I travel to some grim northern outpost I want to experience grim northern culture.

These new grounds need to be deliberately ramshackled and free tickets given to local meatheads to give it a more authentic northern feel.

I’m being glib, of course.

However, when the alternative is a sea of grown men in ill-fitting and garish amber replica tops sitting in complete silence, unless prompted, you do wonder.

I have no idea where the likes of Hull City are getting these people from, though.

This idea of the ultimate football fan was created in about 1998 by the Sky executives and like a common cold, it has spread.

Sky seem to have convinced people unless you are totally obsessed with your club and constantly involved in harmless ‘banter’ while wearing every item in the club-shop, then you’re not a true fan.

The days when ordinary people simply went along to watch their side as a hobby, dressed in normal clothes after sharing a beer with friends and family seem a world away.

Grounds used to be very partisan, filled with local pride and built up venom.

However, it was left at the ground once people got home to their lives and family.

Now grounds are mostly silent, but the internet and phone-in shows seem to hum with ‘banter’ constantly.

The fact most of this so-called banter is banal and puerile doesn’t seem to hinder its popularity with this generation of fans at all.

Before this Sky revolution, saying you were a football fan was simply an admission of enjoying a hobby.

Now it is like admitting to being a mentally immature oddball with no grasp on reality.

The likes of Millwall and Stoke City seem to have bucked this trend so far.

Our rewards have been to be called throwbacks to the 1980s, or to receive constant scorn from the Murdoch empire, not that either of us seem to care.

Maybe if the bubble does finally burst we will be remembered as valiant bastions of English football culture?

But that’s about as likely as Millwall winning on the road these days, as it was the Sky clones of Hull who went home happy on Saturday after an insipid 2-0 win.

Perhaps the Likely Lads song was right - the only thing to look forward to is the past.

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