LIVING ‘darn sarf’ (said in the local vernacular) has a lot to offer being minutes from central London and a few miles from the coast, why wouldn’t you want to live here?

We may not speak to each other or wish you good morning and give you the worst looks whilst speaking loudly on your phone but we’re all right.

Whether you’ve moved areas or just fancy being a southerner for the day, follow these steps to be the coolest Londoner of them all...

Support a South London football team

Whether it’s Charlton Athletic, Crystal Palace or Millwall, supporting these teams is the first way to get you thinking like a true South Londoner. Whether you’re wearing their shirt or chanting your way through a match, supporting these great teams will release your inner South Londoner.

Listen to Tinie Tempah

This South London rapper grew up in Plumstead and went to school in Abbey Wood.

If you want some serious southern street cred, playing his songs whilst riding bus will get people thinking you’re a born and bred South Londoner.

Get your tunes at Cruisin Records, 132 Welling High Street.

DON’T have a loud phone conversation

This is the biggest sin to commit as a South Londoner. Talking loudly on your phone while on the train is the best way to get death stares and abuse. 

People on the train do not wish to hear about your team targets, figures or nights out.

Please keep it to a low tone or end phone conversations altogether for a better South London experience.

Have pie and mash

This classic working-class meal is a southern tradition. Load your pie with liquor, ice-cream sized mash balls and stewed eels for a culinary South London delight. 

Raymonds Pie & Mash shop, 10 Passey Place, Eltham, is the ideal location for a ‘darn sarf’ slap- up meal.

Talk the talk 

Whether you’re going up the Apples and Pears (stairs) or if you feeling a bit Tooting Beckish (peckish) you’ll fit right into South London speaking cockney rhyming slang.

Talking the talk is the best way to get yourself out and about and get people thinking you’re a right Fridge Freezer (geezer).

Speak like a true cockney: cockneyrhymingslang.co.uk