Two female feral pigeons stood together heads cocked to one side picking up crumbs on platform four at Earl’s Court Underground station.

Behind the pair, a male pigeon was valiantly performing to attract their attention, appearing enormous and resplendent with fluffed up plumage, drooping fanned out tail and bottle green neck feathers reflecting weak sunlight.

He gracefully curtseyed, pirouetted and bobbed cooing and warbling softly.

Several moments elapsed but his strenuous lovey-dovey efforts were studiously ignored.

Then, into the platform rumbled an Olyimpia-bound train. The doors opened and a few passengers got out.

Both avian commuters firmly stood their ground but as the doors began to close, elegantly hopped up into the carriage.

The train trundled slowly out while the male continued his love dance, working himself up to fever pitch. For several seconds he spun furiously round before stopping abruptly as realisation dawned on him. His intended conquests had vanished!

If ever a pigeon can be described as having a puzzled expression on his face, then this was it — visibly deflating to half his previous size!

Then, with a resigned shrug of his wings he turned and strutted purposefully along the platform to the exit despite his humiliating rejection, proud head held high to try his luck elsewhere.

I trust both females enjoyed the current exhibition at Olympia and were not penalised for fare evasion. It would be such a shame if they were or even worse, faced a prison sentence doing ‘bird’!

London’s feral pigeons have expanded their population enormously in the past three decades and every town centre plays host to a sizeable flock.

In Morden, a pair of peregrine falcons nest every year on the roof of the Civic building, in addition to feasting on rose-ringed parakeets a very welcome part of their diet as far as I’m concerned. The falcons take many slow flying pigeons that are easy to catch.

Bird feeders in my garden attract a variety of species including all members of the tit family, while goldfinches and nuthatches are regular visitors.

A fact that pleases me is that several feral pigeons patrol the ground below picking up dropped sunflower hearts, ensuring there are no easy pickings left for rats. The feral pigeon is the only species to breed all year round, as far as I know, so my feeders are well looked after through summer and winter.