There are lots of different ways to refer to it: doggy doo-doos, canine crap, or possibly even Fido's faeces.

However you like to describe dog mess, I surely can't be the only one to have noticed that its unwelcome presence in parks seems to have increased somewhat.

This presents a problem for those of us in possession of small children.

My son likes to run around a lot, and because I don't own a garden, the only place I can let him burn off a few calories is in the local park.

The trouble is, infants tend to lack a little in the co-ordination department, and that means they fall over a lot.

So as the owner of one disgusting animal (small child) - I have an ultimatum to irresponsible owners.

Either you start cleaning up after your pets, or I am going to start letting my toddler defecate all over the local parks and push your dog over in it.

Neil Gerrard
By email