I find myself compelled to write in reply to a letter in last week's Times, from the sad person who has nothing better to do than to measure grave stones and upset people like myself who have loved ones buried at Allum Lane Cemetery.

I buried my 22-month-old daughter at Allum Lane on January 2, 1990. I have attended her grave every Sunday, birthday, Christmas and anniversary of her death ever since.

Every item that I, or relatives, have placed on the grave are gifts given in memory of my daughter and how much she is missed and loved.

This sad person who is frightened to give their name obviously has no soul or compassion for those coming to terms with their loss.

When you give a gift to someone, you don't take it away after two weeks. Why should this be different for the dead?

I think it is nice to see that people care enough to attend the graves and remember their loved ones with symbols of affection. What a sad world we live in if we cannot show our love and affection to the dead as well as the living.

I shall put fresh flowers on my daughter's grave every Sunday and place a gift for her birthday, and have a Christmas tree for her at Christmas, as long as I am still alive and I will not have anyone tell me what I can or can't have on my own daughter's grave. I am sure there are more mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, grandparents etc. who feel the same.

Mrs D Scears,

Cromwell Road,

Borehamwood.