Plans to grow grass and drive tractors on the Dartford Crossing to retain its status as a rural road have been unveiled by the Department for Transport.

The busy crossing was classified as a rural road and omitted from air quality assessments when reporting pollution levels to the EU.

The road was reclassified, but after noticing how this made pollution levels in London increase, the DoT came up with the ingenious solution.

A spokesperson said: “The plan will drastically reduce the pollution levels in the capital.

“Yes it will technically not change the actual air quality levels around the Dartford area, but what the people care about is what statistics say and not how orange the sky looks today.”

The proposals would see grass planted in the centre of the crossing and extra potholes dug into the tarmac to mirror the quality of rural roads.

A qualified tractor driver would be hired to drive every two hours down the crossing, hauling a trailer just slightly too large to comfortably pass on the outside lane.

Extended proposals also suggest employing a farmer in absolutely no hurry to go anywhere to take a herd of cows across the bridge at 9am and 5pm every weekday.

Did we fool you with this one? Happy April Fools Day everyone!