What's been on editor Andy Parkes' mind? Does he really only have 5 Thoughts a week?

1. When did the humble pencil go out of fashion? I often pick up a faithful HB for all sorts of tasks and have even been know to sport one behind an ear, but I’m now being informed it’s not cool to be seen using a pencil and the very fact I do makes me look a dinosaur to most people.

2. I nearly got taken out by some stupid woman with a pram this week. Seriously she didn’t care who or what she rammed it into. Have you noticed how some people use their pram or pushchair as an offensive weapon? I have even witnessed them being pushed into a line of traffic to force cars to stop – incredible.

3. Sikhs everywhere welcome in their new year on March 14. This festival should not be confused with the Sikh festival of Vaisakhi, which takes place on April 14 each year. Interestingly, many within the Sikh community make this very same mistake and even Sikhs in Punjab get this wrong at this time of year.

4. When I said 10 years ago that Boris Johnson would one day be Prime Minister of our great country a number of people laughed, well, they’re not laughing now. The last time I saw BoJo he’d managed to miss so many of the loops on his trousers with his belt I was afraid they would fall down. When he gains power he’s going to need a whole army of people looking after him, but one thing’s for sure, he’ll certainly be a lot less grey than the current shower of party leaders we’re inflicted with.

5. Now the sun’s out we’re already starting to get wasps showing up on our window sills. Personally they don’t bother me that much, but I’m not sure what role they play in maintaining the evolutionary chain? If anyone knows why wasps are important please let me know.