Two for the price of one this week as Greenhithe’s two waterfront pubs battle it out.

And the contenders are: The Pier Hotel; Sir John Franklin.

They both look similar, back onto the Thames and offer free Wi-Fi – but in other ways they’re very different. The Pier was busier with perhaps a nicer outside area, but it was just so cliquey. The Sir John, on the other hand was welcoming and warm with a barmaid who actually knows what a smile is.

The Pier’s barmaid may sport sparkly glasses but her face certainly doesn’t light up to match. In fact, she almost turns into Arkwright as every time she serves someone she has to bash her Casio till in much the same way as the tight-fisted shopkeeper.

In the Sir John the barmaid is a complete opposite - bubbly and bright, if a little high-pitched, with a tendency to reach for her mobile. 

The Pier’s bush was nicely trimmed, the dining area was dark but I could just pick out a portrait of the Queen, painted when she was much younger, she might even have been smiling.

At the Sir John, the flowers were brighter than the Pier’s, which are now a little crispy in their baskets.

The Pier sports stacks of trophies for golf, darts etc, but they just seem to add to the cliquey feel of the place. However, when it comes to brasses the Sir John’s much better endowed. In fact they hang down in such number and weight they almost obscure the view of the big screen.

The main screen in The Pier, however, was fully illuminated with every possible angle of CCTV coverage you could imagine – there can’t be a single inch of this pub where you’re not monitored.

The Pier may have a slightly better view of the river but the Sir John Franklin will provide a much warmer welcome.

Finally, a word for the loved-up couple in the Sir John. Whilst both outside having a fag he turned to her and joked she couldn’t have another one as she was back at school the next day – you looked to be having a great time, I’d avoid The Pier if I was you.

Sir John Franklin,

6 High Street, Greenhithe

Decor: ***As a pub should be

Drink: **** Doombar – an excellent pint

PRICE: ***  £3.45

Atmosphere:  *** Welcoming

STAFF:  **** The mobile lost you one star

 

The Pier Hotel,

6 High Street, Greenhithe

Decor: *** As a pub should be

Drink: **  Harvey’s Sussex Best Bitter – it was okay

PRICE: ***  £3.80

Atmosphere: ** Great if you happen to be locals

STAFF:  * A star for turning up