A GOOD panto has the ability to turn grown adults into giggling children, squealing with delight at the corniest gags and silliest slapstick.

A bad panto, however, transforms the most patient parent into a huffy, ill-tempered toddler.

News Shopper: Review of Aladdin at Fairfield Halls in Croydon *****

Thankfully, there were no tantrums during Aladdin at Fairfield Halls, just fits of laughter and delight.

Strangely, its biggest draw is not former EastEnders villain Larry Lamb, although his self-deprecating turn as Abanazar — portrayed as a wizard/hammy thespian desperate to get his mits on the lamp so he can become a serious Shakespearean actor — is bordering on genius.

No, the show’s star card is the panto dame or, as we are reminded by one character at the beginning, the fat bloke in a dress.

News Shopper: Review of Aladdin at Fairfield Halls in Croydon *****

Part Les Dawson, part Matt Lucas, Quinn Patrick as Widow Twankey lights up the stage like a nuclear reactor.

Larger than life, outrageously flirty and just a little bit dirty, his comic timing is more accurate than the talking clock.

The wonderfully terrible one-liner gags will make you groan but everyone, including the cast, are so drunk on fun, you’ll be too busy wiping the tears of joy from your eyes to notice.

Who knew there were so many Star Trek gags to be wrung out of the Emperor’s skid-marked undies?

News Shopper: Review of Aladdin at Fairfield Halls in Croydon *****

Twankey may steal every scene but he is careful not to hog the limelight, giving everyone a chance to shine.

Hollyoaks actor and son of Joe Pasquale, Joe Tracini, proves he has inherited his father’s funnybone as our hero’s brother Wishee Washee.

He has the energy of a Chinese firecracker, making sure the audience are as much a part of the show as the cast and, along with Oliver Broad as PC Pongo, provides plenty of slapstick silliness for the kids.

News Shopper: Review of Aladdin at Fairfield Halls in Croydon *****

Antony Hansen and Rosa O’Reilly make a wholesome Aladdin and Princess Jasmine, while Kelly Chinery shows she has an impressive set of pipes as the Spirit of the Ring, blasting out the panto’s chart hits and gossiping in patois with a bling, disco-loving Genie (Nathaniel Morrison).

Loud, brash and bawdy, with an inexhaustible supply of custard pies, Aladdin is a moreish guilty pleasure.

Aladdin runs until January 2. To book, call 020 8688 9291 or visit fairfield.co.uk