For children who experience bereavement, help is at hand thanks to St Christopher’s Hospice’s Candle Project. DAVID MILLS finds out about the support available.

WHEN a child loses a parent or sibling, it may seem as though their world has been turned upside down.

But thanks to St Christopher’s Hospice’s Candle Project, young people and their families have someone to turn to.

Since 1998 the hospice in Lawrie Park Road, Sydenham, has been providing support be it emotional help coping with bereavement or practical support such as changing school or moving house.

Each year around 250 young people take part in counselling sessions led by mentors, some of whom have arrived at the hospice through Candle, after experiencing bereavement themselves.

Project leader Frances Kraus said: “Bereavement is a normal process. Most people are going to experience bereavement at some point. We don’t want to pathologise it.

"Children and young people may need some help and guidance but what they don’t need is long term counselling because there’s nothing emotionally wrong with them.”

Candle also offers an “extended warranty” where anyone can re-access the service should something crop up related to the bereavement.

Frances said: “Usually it’s a child changing school because their dad would have been there to see it, but he’s not so they feel sad.

"So they need to come and talk about how to manage that. Or it might be the parent remarrying, or moving house, so they ask will I lose all my memories?”

The majority of children find out about Candle through their school but increasingly by word of mouth.

Any parent who has concerns over how their child is managing bereavement is advised to call the hospice, as Frances said: “Sometimes one phone call is enough.”

But how do you tackle bereavement?

Candle works around a checklist of four key areas: providing information on what has happened and what is going to happen; offering reassurance that someone is there for them; giving a chance for children to express feelings, and help coping with a changed world.

Frances said: “One big thing in bereavement is the world has changed. Everything that person did has to be done in another way.

“That kind of tapestry of your life has to be rewoven. It might be you’ve got a new teacher who doesn’t know your daddy has died, would you like me or your mummy to tell her?

“Children really appreciate someone attending to their needs.”

MIDNIGHT WALK

Candle needs to raise around £150,000 a year to run its services.

To help contribute to costs, the hospice is holding its second ever Midnight Walk at 11pm on September 17 and is calling on supporters to come and take part.

The five-mile walk will take in Sydenham, Crystal Palace, Anerley and Penge, with the clock turning midnight en-route.

To take part, visit stchristophers.org.uk.