Following on from how Bromley council have recently changed how their rubbish and recycling scheme works, I ask you if you've noticed that certain items, notably polystyrene packaging is the devils own job to get the collectors to remove?

Well let me explain this to you oh my best beloved with a little parable....

Verily hath Naq towers spewed forth much quantity of the evil polystyrene packaging of recent weeks.

And yay, as a good disciple of things green and wholesome have I placed the stuff in transparent recycling bags (Bought at my own expense) and thence placed them in the recycling boxes begat by the Lords of the Council.

Each week hath seen the arrival of the collection men, speaking loudly and conversing in many tongues (or which I know nought). These men, on picking up my bags of plastic hath shaken their heads and, throwing the stuff back on the ground have moved on to pastures new.

I return and see my recycling left higgledy piggledy about my lands and, rending my garment in my grief cry "What the.... Why can't those B******ds take my stuff? Is it not worthy? And so after several weeks of trying to get it removed; ensuring that the recycling mark so clearly stamped onto all this plastic is plainly visible to them who hath eye's to see; even writing Recyclable in bold characters upon the bag, I cried "Enough is surely enough" and falling to my knees (old age and arthritis) I phoned the Lords of the council.

I explained my plight.

I pledged my troth to the aims of recycling.

I got...... nowhere.

And I got nowhere because, despite the great symbols of recyclability carried by my items, certain things aren't deemed by the Lords of the Council to be worthwhile of their collection for recycling.

And why is this?

Because (and I quote) "They are of low recyclable value...."

All is now clear and the mist of stupidity falls from my eyes.

I believed in my foolishness that the Lords of the Council were recycling to assist us all save the planet.

I was wrong.

The Lords of the Council want valuable recycling to help line the coffers of Mammon.

"SO" I ask the priest at the temple of Recycling and waste management "What woulds't thou that I should do with these recyclable (but low value) items?"

"Stick it in a black sack and put it with the other non-recyclable rubbish" came the reply.

And so oh my best beloved you have the story.

As we become increasingly threatened by the Lords of Council should we NOT recycle, even if you try to follow their edicts, they'll move the goalposts faster than you can ever know.

And what do you want to bet that should I keep putting the clearly recyclable in a black sack then some worker, speaking in tongues, will dump it back on the side of my drive way declaring "Нічого собі я не можу прийняти це!" (*) After which I will start the whole d*mn saga over again. Here endeth todays rant. Peace be with you....

(*)"Нічого собі я не можу прийняти це!" = "Wow! I can't take that" in Ukranian (or so I'm informed)

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