Flares and afros may be out but disco certainly aint dead as Roller Disco returns to The O2. MATTHEW JENKIN finds his wheels at the retro club event.

IT IS a rare event to see me dance to Beyonce's iconic Single Ladies without even a sniff of alcohol.

But grinning (or possibly gurning) like the village idiot, I hurtled across The O2's roller rink and found my left hand lift up and flick to the music like a spasmodic chimp.

With no booze, but plenty of bad dancing, Roller Disco turns what is usually a carefree night of hedonistic clubbing into a music-fuelled rat race and competition to remain upright without breaking a limb.

The concept originated as a fad in the 1970s when the disco craze was at its height. Peaking in the early 80s, it then fell out of fashion before enjoying a revival in 2006.

The craze may have lost some of its cool since then but the party is back at the Greenwich venue after a massively popular residence last summer.

With the biggest rink in London, 350 skaters can shake, shimmy and slide along to the latest pop hits and disco classics.

Zipping up my roller boots, I felt I was heading to the nearest hospital A&E. rather than going back to my roots.

But in the spirit of Gloria Gaynor I convinced myself I would, indeed, survive and gingerly made my way to the rink.

The first thing to mention about roller-skating for the absolute beginner is the unflattering position you are forced to assume in order to maintain balance and avoid an embarrassing tumble.

So sticking out my bottom and flapping my arms like a constipated duck pushing out a fart, I joined the flow of skaters gliding to an eclectic mix of 70s disco and modern R&B hits.

After the initial fear of suffering a spinal injury and spending the rest of my days eating liquefied dinners through a straw, I discovered roller-skating was a bit like learning to walk for the first time - once you've found your feet, or wheels, there's no stopping you.

Partly because I couldn't find the breaks but mainly because it is gloriously good fun.

Half the joy, however, comes from watching other skaters. A brilliant mix of personalities can be seen circling the rink like flies around a glittering turd.

While more experienced skaters flip and attempt the splits at high speed, exuberant girls on a hen night can be seen drunkenly falling over each other and landing in a limb-twisting mess on the floor.

Although the position of the rink in the disused space between the cinema and the exhibition centre means the atmosphere isn't exactly buzzing, Roller Disco is never lacking in laughs.

So limber up, slip on some leg warmers and get ready to roll.

Roller Disco. The O2, Greenwich. Next to the British Music Experience at The O2 Bubble. Until August 31. Tuesday to Sunday. To book tickets ,call 0844 856 0202 or visit theo2.co.uk