I think to myself, when I decide to take the pills, shall I take patch with me too.
These nightly visits that Roy has been paying me, I now have decided not to wash..down below. hopefully this will deter him. But no it doesn't

Nothing changes, I'm still cooking and cleaning everything... every day.
She now has decided to drag me along with her to the working mans club on a Saturday night..These clubs are the meeting point of all northern people, and still are going strong in the countryside....
She's for ever making a fool of herself.
I sit there all night with one glass of lemonade, while she downs pint after pint. Everyone plays bingo and then the artist of the night comes on stage, it could be anything from Country and western music, to pop and rock. I didn't mind either.
She'd force me do dance with her, either teaching me to do the jive, fox trot, or what ever took her fancy that night. I'd be always stepping on her toes. She would say to me '' if you step on my toes one more time, I'll knock you to the other side of the room. So there I would be dancing a foot from her so I wouldn't be stepping on her toes.

After the night had finished, she would send me to the Chinese take away, I'd order her food, then run home with it, sometimes she would wait for me, but depending how drunk she was.
I didn't like being around her while she was drunk. I know for what ever reason, I would be getting a beating.
I'd get indoors with the take away, but she's not there.
I sit and wait 5 mins, now I start to panic, coz if her food goes cold, who do you things she's going to blame?....So I run out, to try and see her, the problem was, she could have come home a number of ways. Well I took one of the ways, and it was a mistake, I hear some noise coming from the alley way.
I see it's her and shout for her.
I'm not surprised when I see her with her dress hitched up to her waist, having sex with.... My uncles ( which is her new husband )best mate (Steve) She drops her dress, wipes her mouth as if nothing is wrong. Steve mentions to her, that I had seen, She told him not to worry, and that she has trained me well not to say anything.
We eventually get home, yes her food has gone cold, She still scoffs it in her mouth, I'm sitting on the settee, thinking will I get some....Don't be silly.... of cause I never. What I normally do , Is lick the bowl after.
My uncle was asking her, what took her so long, She turned the conversation on to me, to what took me so long with the chinese... I went to walk out of the room, but she grabbed me by my hair, and dragged me back, she threw me onto the floor and sat on top of me.... she weighed about 15 stone, I'm 11 yrs old, thin as a rack and her weight on top of me is crushing me, she then lifts my head of the floor, and smashes it back down, I look at my uncle, but he just stands there looking on in amazement. She punshes me in the face, my eye blacks up, and now I can't hardly see.... I'm screaming and crying,but again she lifts my head of the floor, and smashes it down again..... I only remember waking up in the morning after that, so I must have blacked out.

My uncle doesn't want to leave me at home with her, so he takes me in his lorry for the day.

It is also when I tell him about all the men she's had, last night, and all the other times, even when she came back to my dads.



All I'm thinking about is what on earth am I going to tell school about my big black eye.

After we arrive home, all hell breaks loose, I'm feeling inside , I should have told him about his son Roy, and what he's been doing to me for years. I don't have the heart, or the guts... he's already looking a broken man.

She beats me up very badly, I'm taken to hospital. The social services are called.



I think I'm saved.