Every year thousands of people miss the deadline for tax self-assessment.

And every year, the excuses people give get dafter.

HM Revenue and Customs (HMRC) has revealed some of the worst reasons given, which include:

  • I couldn’t file my return on time as my wife has been seeing aliens and won’t let me enter the house.
  • I’ve been far too busy touring the country with my one-man play.
  • My ex-wife left my tax return upstairs, but I suffer from vertigo and can’t go upstairs to retrieve it.
  • My business doesn’t really do anything.
  • I spilt coffee on it.

As well as the excuses, HMRC also receives some questionable items which taxpayers have tried to expense:

  • A three-piece suite for my partner to sit on when I’m doing my accounts.
  • Birthday drinks at a nightclub.
  • Vet fees for a rabbit.
  • Hotel room service – for candles and prosecco.
  • £4.50 for sausage and chips meal expenses for 250 days.

The excuses and expenses listed above were all rejected.

Angela MacDonald, HMRC director general of customer services, said: “Each year we’re making it easier and more intuitive for our customers to complete their tax return, but each year we still come across some questionable excuses, whether that’s blaming a busy touring schedule or seeing aliens.

"However, help will always be provided for those who have a genuine excuse for not submitting their return on time.

“We also receive absurd expense claims from vet fees for a rabbit to room service at a hotel. It is unfair to make honest taxpayers pick up the bill for other people’s spurious claims, so HMRC will only accept sincere claims such as legitimate expenses for a job.

“If you think you might miss the 31 January deadline, get in touch with us now - the earlier we’re contacted, the more help we can offer.”

The deadline for sending 2016-17 self-assessment tax returns to HMRC, and paying any tax owed, is January 31.

Self-assessment customers can now also submit their return via their Personal Tax Account. It takes five minutes to sign up for an account here: www.gov.uk/personal-tax-account.