Tributes to 'loving' dad-of-two found hanging in Eltham Well Hall Pleasaunce

Tributes to 'loving' dad-of-two found hanging in Eltham Well Hall Pleasaunce

"Comical, loving, protective" - Tony Rengert

Flowers have been laid in the Pleasaunce

Tributes to 'loving' dad-of-two found hanging in Eltham Well Hall Pleasaunce

First published in News
Last updated
News Shopper: Photograph of the Author by , deputy news editor

Friends and family have paid tribute to a loving dad-of-two who was tragically found hanging in an Eltham park yesterday morning.

Tony Rengert, 26, has been described a generous, protective dad and friend, but his family say he found it hard to cope after splitting from his long term partner.

Mum Wendy Rengert, 50, said: "He lost his partner, his children, his home, all in one day. You can't expect him to get over it."

His mum said the family had become concerned he was having a breakdown and had tried to get medical help but were told he was okay.

Flowers have been laid in Well Hall Pleasaunce where Mr Rengert  - who had an 18-month old son and four-year-old girl - was found by the London Ambulance Service at 8.43am on Monday (August 11).

Since then, the family have had around 60 people coming to visit them, paying their respects to a passionate Arsenal fan who had lived in Eltham all his life.

News Shopper:

His mum said: "He was a character. He could be firey but he was also comical, loving, protective.

"Everyone's devastated. Absolutely devastated. It's been non-stop with people coming here. One fell on his knees crying. He was so loved.

"So many people have said Eltham will never be the same without him."

She added: "He worked in demolition which was appropriate for Tony. He was like a bull in a china shop sometimes."

Sister Nicola Cousin, 29, said: "He's going to be dearly missed and he'll never be forgotten."

Mr Rengert had left his friends' house at 9.30pm on Sunday (August 10) when he was described as acting normally. Pals Sarah McNair, 41, and husband Jason, 41, were the last people to see him.

News Shopper:

Mrs McNair said: "We noticed nothing. He didn't seem out of character at all the last three days."

And she said when her husband suffered a heart attack in February, Mr Rengert had been a "true, true friend".

Mrs McNair said: "Tony took time off work, he helped with my two businesses, he helped with the children. He was an absolute star. I wouldn't have survived all that on my own if he wasn't there to help."

She added: "We all love him and we all miss him."

Anyone affected by issues around suicide can gain confidential advice and support by calling the Samaritans on 08457 909090 or by visiting samaritans.org

Comments (33)

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3:38pm Tue 12 Aug 14

Citygirl83 says...

So sad that this gentleman felt he could not carry on his life, having suffered depression I know what it feels like to be on the edge but I feel sorry for the people that have to find them, its true when they say that suicide truly is a selfish act.
So sad that this gentleman felt he could not carry on his life, having suffered depression I know what it feels like to be on the edge but I feel sorry for the people that have to find them, its true when they say that suicide truly is a selfish act. Citygirl83
  • Score: 50

4:12pm Tue 12 Aug 14

Love London Life says...

Totally agree, Very sad as he was not thinking correctly but think of the people you leave behind to clear up the pieces...It's hardly fair on family and friends to never actually know the reasoning behind him making this decision
Totally agree, Very sad as he was not thinking correctly but think of the people you leave behind to clear up the pieces...It's hardly fair on family and friends to never actually know the reasoning behind him making this decision Love London Life
  • Score: 46

7:00pm Tue 12 Aug 14

southeast9 says...

noone knows how anyone feels. and as a good friend of mine wernt a selfish act he went through alot and the same as most who have commited suicide hes one of them tributes to robin williams but thats ok because hes famous nope sorry weather it be murder or suicide they are human beings and deserve respect also once passed! RIP TONY LOVEYA MATE
noone knows how anyone feels. and as a good friend of mine wernt a selfish act he went through alot and the same as most who have commited suicide hes one of them tributes to robin williams but thats ok because hes famous nope sorry weather it be murder or suicide they are human beings and deserve respect also once passed! RIP TONY LOVEYA MATE southeast9
  • Score: 32

7:33pm Tue 12 Aug 14

Citygirl83 says...

southeast9 wrote:
noone knows how anyone feels. and as a good friend of mine wernt a selfish act he went through alot and the same as most who have commited suicide hes one of them tributes to robin williams but thats ok because hes famous nope sorry weather it be murder or suicide they are human beings and deserve respect also once passed! RIP TONY LOVEYA MATE
And as I said it's sad that he felt he couldn't go on with his life and that suicide was the only answer.
It is sad for those he has left behind because they will feel like they wished they could of done, that's where I was coming from with the selfish remark.
[quote][p][bold]southeast9[/bold] wrote: noone knows how anyone feels. and as a good friend of mine wernt a selfish act he went through alot and the same as most who have commited suicide hes one of them tributes to robin williams but thats ok because hes famous nope sorry weather it be murder or suicide they are human beings and deserve respect also once passed! RIP TONY LOVEYA MATE[/p][/quote]And as I said it's sad that he felt he couldn't go on with his life and that suicide was the only answer. It is sad for those he has left behind because they will feel like they wished they could of done, that's where I was coming from with the selfish remark. Citygirl83
  • Score: 33

7:45pm Tue 12 Aug 14

romany77 says...

Citygirl83 wrote:
So sad that this gentleman felt he could not carry on his life, having suffered depression I know what it feels like to be on the edge but I feel sorry for the people that have to find them, its true when they say that suicide truly is a selfish act.
Suicide is certainly not a selfish act. It takes tremendous courage. To feel so desperate , to know that there is nowhere to turn is the most horrendous feeling. Who knows what goes on behind closed doors . Many people live a false existence , just a front for so called friends and family. Where are they all when the chips are down. Gone, amidst the dust, as they disappear. We cannot stereotype or judge others without knowing the true facts. Please think of the broader picture. It could be you or me one day. We can never know.
[quote][p][bold]Citygirl83[/bold] wrote: So sad that this gentleman felt he could not carry on his life, having suffered depression I know what it feels like to be on the edge but I feel sorry for the people that have to find them, its true when they say that suicide truly is a selfish act.[/p][/quote]Suicide is certainly not a selfish act. It takes tremendous courage. To feel so desperate , to know that there is nowhere to turn is the most horrendous feeling. Who knows what goes on behind closed doors . Many people live a false existence , just a front for so called friends and family. Where are they all when the chips are down. Gone, amidst the dust, as they disappear. We cannot stereotype or judge others without knowing the true facts. Please think of the broader picture. It could be you or me one day. We can never know. romany77
  • Score: 14

7:54pm Tue 12 Aug 14

Citygirl83 says...

romany77 wrote:
Citygirl83 wrote:
So sad that this gentleman felt he could not carry on his life, having suffered depression I know what it feels like to be on the edge but I feel sorry for the people that have to find them, its true when they say that suicide truly is a selfish act.
Suicide is certainly not a selfish act. It takes tremendous courage. To feel so desperate , to know that there is nowhere to turn is the most horrendous feeling. Who knows what goes on behind closed doors . Many people live a false existence , just a front for so called friends and family. Where are they all when the chips are down. Gone, amidst the dust, as they disappear. We cannot stereotype or judge others without knowing the true facts. Please think of the broader picture. It could be you or me one day. We can never know.
You are entitled to an opinion as much as I am, having been on the edge a couple of times, only just last year after my son had been born I speak from personal experience. I do see the broader picture, people are taking what I am saying the wrong way so I'm not going to post anyone, what I would ask is that people don't personally attack me. I haven't bad mouthed this gentleman, I sympathise with him and feel sorry for him and feel for his children and family which he has left behind.
[quote][p][bold]romany77[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]Citygirl83[/bold] wrote: So sad that this gentleman felt he could not carry on his life, having suffered depression I know what it feels like to be on the edge but I feel sorry for the people that have to find them, its true when they say that suicide truly is a selfish act.[/p][/quote]Suicide is certainly not a selfish act. It takes tremendous courage. To feel so desperate , to know that there is nowhere to turn is the most horrendous feeling. Who knows what goes on behind closed doors . Many people live a false existence , just a front for so called friends and family. Where are they all when the chips are down. Gone, amidst the dust, as they disappear. We cannot stereotype or judge others without knowing the true facts. Please think of the broader picture. It could be you or me one day. We can never know.[/p][/quote]You are entitled to an opinion as much as I am, having been on the edge a couple of times, only just last year after my son had been born I speak from personal experience. I do see the broader picture, people are taking what I am saying the wrong way so I'm not going to post anyone, what I would ask is that people don't personally attack me. I haven't bad mouthed this gentleman, I sympathise with him and feel sorry for him and feel for his children and family which he has left behind. Citygirl83
  • Score: 47

8:09pm Tue 12 Aug 14

Princesstreen says...

As someone who lost my dad to suicide, I speak from experience when I say how painful it was to read comments about him being selfish by people who did not know the man who I absolutely idolised and adored. Then I had to read there options of why, because all of a sudden everyone was a mental health expert. I would hope that people would think before posting things in relation to this poor mans death, as his loved ones and friends will read it and it is the last thing they need to see whilst grieving in one of the most unimaginable ways.
RIP Tony and my heartfelt condolences go to your two children and your family & friends xx
As someone who lost my dad to suicide, I speak from experience when I say how painful it was to read comments about him being selfish by people who did not know the man who I absolutely idolised and adored. Then I had to read there options of why, because all of a sudden everyone was a mental health expert. I would hope that people would think before posting things in relation to this poor mans death, as his loved ones and friends will read it and it is the last thing they need to see whilst grieving in one of the most unimaginable ways. RIP Tony and my heartfelt condolences go to your two children and your family & friends xx Princesstreen
  • Score: 8

8:45pm Tue 12 Aug 14

Citygirl83 says...

Princesstreen wrote:
As someone who lost my dad to suicide, I speak from experience when I say how painful it was to read comments about him being selfish by people who did not know the man who I absolutely idolised and adored. Then I had to read there options of why, because all of a sudden everyone was a mental health expert. I would hope that people would think before posting things in relation to this poor mans death, as his loved ones and friends will read it and it is the last thing they need to see whilst grieving in one of the most unimaginable ways.
RIP Tony and my heartfelt condolences go to your two children and your family & friends xx
Ask newsshopper to remove the comments section then, I would think in their hour of grief the last thing the family would be doing is rushing to see what comments have been posted. I have not said anything derogatory regarding this man, I did not personally call him selfish or claim to be a mental health expert. I'm sorry for your loss but this is not a place to grieve.
[quote][p][bold]Princesstreen[/bold] wrote: As someone who lost my dad to suicide, I speak from experience when I say how painful it was to read comments about him being selfish by people who did not know the man who I absolutely idolised and adored. Then I had to read there options of why, because all of a sudden everyone was a mental health expert. I would hope that people would think before posting things in relation to this poor mans death, as his loved ones and friends will read it and it is the last thing they need to see whilst grieving in one of the most unimaginable ways. RIP Tony and my heartfelt condolences go to your two children and your family & friends xx[/p][/quote]Ask newsshopper to remove the comments section then, I would think in their hour of grief the last thing the family would be doing is rushing to see what comments have been posted. I have not said anything derogatory regarding this man, I did not personally call him selfish or claim to be a mental health expert. I'm sorry for your loss but this is not a place to grieve. Citygirl83
  • Score: 34

8:58pm Tue 12 Aug 14

Princesstreen says...

Citygirl83 wrote:
Princesstreen wrote:
As someone who lost my dad to suicide, I speak from experience when I say how painful it was to read comments about him being selfish by people who did not know the man who I absolutely idolised and adored. Then I had to read there options of why, because all of a sudden everyone was a mental health expert. I would hope that people would think before posting things in relation to this poor mans death, as his loved ones and friends will read it and it is the last thing they need to see whilst grieving in one of the most unimaginable ways.
RIP Tony and my heartfelt condolences go to your two children and your family & friends xx
Ask newsshopper to remove the comments section then, I would think in their hour of grief the last thing the family would be doing is rushing to see what comments have been posted. I have not said anything derogatory regarding this man, I did not personally call him selfish or claim to be a mental health expert. I'm sorry for your loss but this is not a place to grieve.
I did not at any point say they would rush to read this, but clearly condolences will be read at some point by those grieving. If I specifically wanted to aim my comment at yourself I would have named you in my comment. My comment was in General that anything negative such as 'selfish' would cause more hurt.
I simply came to offer condolences as the article is titled with the word 'tributes'. All I expected to see was tributes and condolences and add my own, however was less than surprised to read the usual opions on suicide.
Unless someone has experienced this grief themselves naturally they will not understand and therefore may not understand the affect and upset a word such as 'selfish' can cause.
I will leave it there as this is not the place for individuals to bicker.
[quote][p][bold]Citygirl83[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]Princesstreen[/bold] wrote: As someone who lost my dad to suicide, I speak from experience when I say how painful it was to read comments about him being selfish by people who did not know the man who I absolutely idolised and adored. Then I had to read there options of why, because all of a sudden everyone was a mental health expert. I would hope that people would think before posting things in relation to this poor mans death, as his loved ones and friends will read it and it is the last thing they need to see whilst grieving in one of the most unimaginable ways. RIP Tony and my heartfelt condolences go to your two children and your family & friends xx[/p][/quote]Ask newsshopper to remove the comments section then, I would think in their hour of grief the last thing the family would be doing is rushing to see what comments have been posted. I have not said anything derogatory regarding this man, I did not personally call him selfish or claim to be a mental health expert. I'm sorry for your loss but this is not a place to grieve.[/p][/quote]I did not at any point say they would rush to read this, but clearly condolences will be read at some point by those grieving. If I specifically wanted to aim my comment at yourself I would have named you in my comment. My comment was in General that anything negative such as 'selfish' would cause more hurt. I simply came to offer condolences as the article is titled with the word 'tributes'. All I expected to see was tributes and condolences and add my own, however was less than surprised to read the usual opions on suicide. Unless someone has experienced this grief themselves naturally they will not understand and therefore may not understand the affect and upset a word such as 'selfish' can cause. I will leave it there as this is not the place for individuals to bicker. Princesstreen
  • Score: 10

9:48pm Tue 12 Aug 14

K2 says...

RIP young man it's sad you felt this was the only way out but depression is an illness that's so under estimated, obviously he wasn't thinking straight to take his own life or the hurt he would cause the people that he loved and was loved by, so I hope your at peace my friend god bless x
RIP young man it's sad you felt this was the only way out but depression is an illness that's so under estimated, obviously he wasn't thinking straight to take his own life or the hurt he would cause the people that he loved and was loved by, so I hope your at peace my friend god bless x K2
  • Score: 68

10:01pm Tue 12 Aug 14

mumcabs says...

Citygirl83 wrote:
So sad that this gentleman felt he could not carry on his life, having suffered depression I know what it feels like to be on the edge but I feel sorry for the people that have to find them, its true when they say that suicide truly is a selfish act.
SuicIde is NOT a selfish act, it's a desperate act when there seems no other alternative. Suicidal people are not thinking rationally and they are very ill. Never judge when you do not know circumstances !
[quote][p][bold]Citygirl83[/bold] wrote: So sad that this gentleman felt he could not carry on his life, having suffered depression I know what it feels like to be on the edge but I feel sorry for the people that have to find them, its true when they say that suicide truly is a selfish act.[/p][/quote]SuicIde is NOT a selfish act, it's a desperate act when there seems no other alternative. Suicidal people are not thinking rationally and they are very ill. Never judge when you do not know circumstances ! mumcabs
  • Score: 11

10:17pm Tue 12 Aug 14

Citygirl83 says...

mumcabs wrote:
Citygirl83 wrote:
So sad that this gentleman felt he could not carry on his life, having suffered depression I know what it feels like to be on the edge but I feel sorry for the people that have to find them, its true when they say that suicide truly is a selfish act.
SuicIde is NOT a selfish act, it's a desperate act when there seems no other alternative. Suicidal people are not thinking rationally and they are very ill. Never judge when you do not know circumstances !
You have obviously not read my other comments, I know about suicide having contemplated it myself, not once but twice, and having had two close people to me choose that path. So don't judge me, I'm not the person to be angry at, I have an opinion, a view and if you don't like that well I am sorry. I considered it selfish in my own circumstances because I would have been leaving my friends and family not knowing if they could have helped me and. Also my partner with a young son. Everyone is taking what I am saying literally and not figuratively speaking, his family and friends now have to grieve when they could have been helping and supporting him. Get it now?
[quote][p][bold]mumcabs[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]Citygirl83[/bold] wrote: So sad that this gentleman felt he could not carry on his life, having suffered depression I know what it feels like to be on the edge but I feel sorry for the people that have to find them, its true when they say that suicide truly is a selfish act.[/p][/quote]SuicIde is NOT a selfish act, it's a desperate act when there seems no other alternative. Suicidal people are not thinking rationally and they are very ill. Never judge when you do not know circumstances ![/p][/quote]You have obviously not read my other comments, I know about suicide having contemplated it myself, not once but twice, and having had two close people to me choose that path. So don't judge me, I'm not the person to be angry at, I have an opinion, a view and if you don't like that well I am sorry. I considered it selfish in my own circumstances because I would have been leaving my friends and family not knowing if they could have helped me and. Also my partner with a young son. Everyone is taking what I am saying literally and not figuratively speaking, his family and friends now have to grieve when they could have been helping and supporting him. Get it now? Citygirl83
  • Score: 40

10:33pm Tue 12 Aug 14

Slonik says...

Another tragedy. According to the ONS, suicide is the biggest killer of men under the age of 50 in England and Wales. What's being done about the reasons for that? If this was happening to women there'd be an uproar.
Another tragedy. According to the ONS, suicide is the biggest killer of men under the age of 50 in England and Wales. What's being done about the reasons for that? If this was happening to women there'd be an uproar. Slonik
  • Score: 56

7:52am Wed 13 Aug 14

Nicola Cousin says...

@Citygirl. How dare you say about it being selfish. Show some respect for MY LITTLE BROTHER! The only selfish comments on here is what you have put. We are a grieving family and wanted Tony to have a tribute page and if we wanted an opinion page for small minded people like yourself, then I will ask you to organise for me! I will await your apology!
@Citygirl. How dare you say about it being selfish. Show some respect for MY LITTLE BROTHER! The only selfish comments on here is what you have put. We are a grieving family and wanted Tony to have a tribute page and if we wanted an opinion page for small minded people like yourself, then I will ask you to organise for me! I will await your apology! Nicola Cousin
  • Score: -24

8:11am Wed 13 Aug 14

Citygirl83 says...

Nicola Cousin wrote:
@Citygirl. How dare you say about it being selfish. Show some respect for MY LITTLE BROTHER! The only selfish comments on here is what you have put. We are a grieving family and wanted Tony to have a tribute page and if we wanted an opinion page for small minded people like yourself, then I will ask you to organise for me! I will await your apology!
As I said I was not calling him selfish, from my experience I felt it was selfish from what I have been through, and my sympathy was with his family and friends.
i have already apoligised and explained myself I am not going to again, anyone else that wants to bad mouth me, sl4g me off read all of my comments before judging me, I have been there, been through it, I was not intending to be nasty or disrepctful and if I have then for that I apolgise.
I don't expect a reply from you Nicola.
[quote][p][bold]Nicola Cousin[/bold] wrote: @Citygirl. How dare you say about it being selfish. Show some respect for MY LITTLE BROTHER! The only selfish comments on here is what you have put. We are a grieving family and wanted Tony to have a tribute page and if we wanted an opinion page for small minded people like yourself, then I will ask you to organise for me! I will await your apology![/p][/quote]As I said I was not calling him selfish, from my experience I felt it was selfish from what I have been through, and my sympathy was with his family and friends. i have already apoligised and explained myself I am not going to again, anyone else that wants to bad mouth me, sl4g me off read all of my comments before judging me, I have been there, been through it, I was not intending to be nasty or disrepctful and if I have then for that I apolgise. I don't expect a reply from you Nicola. Citygirl83
  • Score: 47

8:52am Wed 13 Aug 14

Nicola Cousin says...

@citygirl. Please remove your comments, yes I did read all the others but that 'selfish' comment is haunting me!
@citygirl. Please remove your comments, yes I did read all the others but that 'selfish' comment is haunting me! Nicola Cousin
  • Score: -42

9:01am Wed 13 Aug 14

Citygirl83 says...

Nicola Cousin wrote:
@citygirl. Please remove your comments, yes I did read all the others but that 'selfish' comment is haunting me!
I can't you have to request the newsshopper to do it.
[quote][p][bold]Nicola Cousin[/bold] wrote: @citygirl. Please remove your comments, yes I did read all the others but that 'selfish' comment is haunting me![/p][/quote]I can't you have to request the newsshopper to do it. Citygirl83
  • Score: 46

9:06am Wed 13 Aug 14

brommum3 says...

It isn't selfish because if a person's mind is in that bad a place that they contemplate and go through with suicide, it is obvious they are not in their right state of mind.
It is so sad that this young man felt it the only way for him and nobody knows or should judge how he felt.
RIP -hope he finds the peace he deserves and that his family find the strength they need x
It isn't selfish because if a person's mind is in that bad a place that they contemplate and go through with suicide, it is obvious they are not in their right state of mind. It is so sad that this young man felt it the only way for him and nobody knows or should judge how he felt. RIP -hope he finds the peace he deserves and that his family find the strength they need x brommum3
  • Score: 1

9:25am Wed 13 Aug 14

comfortably numb says...

RIP
Sad that a young man is taken by an illness that is very often difficult to recognise, even by those closest.
Sad that he's left friends and family with so many questions that will go unanswered.
Also sad for the person/people who found him, I'm sure it will affect them.
Once again, RIP
RIP Sad that a young man is taken by an illness that is very often difficult to recognise, even by those closest. Sad that he's left friends and family with so many questions that will go unanswered. Also sad for the person/people who found him, I'm sure it will affect them. Once again, RIP comfortably numb
  • Score: 45

9:29am Wed 13 Aug 14

sunshinerain says...

Suicide is many things... having experienced it first hand i went through so many emotions and thought so many things. And yes, as CityGirl says, selfish was one of them. He was selfish in knowing that i would be the one to find him, selfish for him to leave it to me to explain to his family and friends the possible reasons behind it, because he put on a front that all was well to the outside world. Yes he was also brave, because it takes courage to do something like that. You can use any word you want to describe it, but at the end of the day a young man has taken his life, his children will grow up without a father and a family are in mourning. They will experience every emotion going, and it is still v raw at the moment, and perhaps a newsshopper forum is not the place to be so soon after losing someone. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, no one is right or wrong.

RIP Tony, may you be in a better happier place
Suicide is many things... having experienced it first hand i went through so many emotions and thought so many things. And yes, as CityGirl says, selfish was one of them. He was selfish in knowing that i would be the one to find him, selfish for him to leave it to me to explain to his family and friends the possible reasons behind it, because he put on a front that all was well to the outside world. Yes he was also brave, because it takes courage to do something like that. You can use any word you want to describe it, but at the end of the day a young man has taken his life, his children will grow up without a father and a family are in mourning. They will experience every emotion going, and it is still v raw at the moment, and perhaps a newsshopper forum is not the place to be so soon after losing someone. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, no one is right or wrong. RIP Tony, may you be in a better happier place sunshinerain
  • Score: 26

11:44am Wed 13 Aug 14

concerned.erith says...

sunshinerain wrote:
Suicide is many things... having experienced it first hand i went through so many emotions and thought so many things. And yes, as CityGirl says, selfish was one of them. He was selfish in knowing that i would be the one to find him, selfish for him to leave it to me to explain to his family and friends the possible reasons behind it, because he put on a front that all was well to the outside world. Yes he was also brave, because it takes courage to do something like that. You can use any word you want to describe it, but at the end of the day a young man has taken his life, his children will grow up without a father and a family are in mourning. They will experience every emotion going, and it is still v raw at the moment, and perhaps a newsshopper forum is not the place to be so soon after losing someone. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, no one is right or wrong.

RIP Tony, may you be in a better happier place
I totally agree, as I was in the same position of my selfish husband knowing that I too would be the one to find him.

I nearly had a breakdown, lost lots of 'freinds' and it took me years to understand that it wasn't my fault.

My heart goes out to the family and please get counselling from CRUSE or any other bereavement counsellers. The pain never goes away but you do find it easier to live with as the years go by. I really feel for his children as they will never know the love of their daddy any more.

sunshinerain get some help too, as you still apear to be suffering.
[quote][p][bold]sunshinerain[/bold] wrote: Suicide is many things... having experienced it first hand i went through so many emotions and thought so many things. And yes, as CityGirl says, selfish was one of them. He was selfish in knowing that i would be the one to find him, selfish for him to leave it to me to explain to his family and friends the possible reasons behind it, because he put on a front that all was well to the outside world. Yes he was also brave, because it takes courage to do something like that. You can use any word you want to describe it, but at the end of the day a young man has taken his life, his children will grow up without a father and a family are in mourning. They will experience every emotion going, and it is still v raw at the moment, and perhaps a newsshopper forum is not the place to be so soon after losing someone. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, no one is right or wrong. RIP Tony, may you be in a better happier place[/p][/quote]I totally agree, as I was in the same position of my selfish husband knowing that I too would be the one to find him. I nearly had a breakdown, lost lots of 'freinds' and it took me years to understand that it wasn't my fault. My heart goes out to the family and please get counselling from CRUSE or any other bereavement counsellers. The pain never goes away but you do find it easier to live with as the years go by. I really feel for his children as they will never know the love of their daddy any more. sunshinerain get some help too, as you still apear to be suffering. concerned.erith
  • Score: 29

12:55pm Wed 13 Aug 14

Princesstreen says...

Everyone grieves in different ways and feels different after suicide. It is not upto anyone else to tell the family how they will, should and do feel. I understand that many will share the same feeling that your loved one or what they have done is selfish and maybe that's something that you could share on your own tribute page to your loved one, if you have one. If not maybe offer that support to people who feel the same. But on this tribute page Tonys sister has clearly let anyone reading know that the term 'selfish' in whatever context it is meant is causing more upset at this very difficult time.
This article is for one man, not suicide as a general topic. I'm sure there are many other appropriate articles for other comments.
Also it is upto the individual and family if they want to read articles about their loved ones.
This was meant to be for tributes and condolences, not debates.
Everyone grieves in different ways and feels different after suicide. It is not upto anyone else to tell the family how they will, should and do feel. I understand that many will share the same feeling that your loved one or what they have done is selfish and maybe that's something that you could share on your own tribute page to your loved one, if you have one. If not maybe offer that support to people who feel the same. But on this tribute page Tonys sister has clearly let anyone reading know that the term 'selfish' in whatever context it is meant is causing more upset at this very difficult time. This article is for one man, not suicide as a general topic. I'm sure there are many other appropriate articles for other comments. Also it is upto the individual and family if they want to read articles about their loved ones. This was meant to be for tributes and condolences, not debates. Princesstreen
  • Score: -3

5:11pm Wed 13 Aug 14

jack1960 says...

Rest in peace Tony my thoughts go out to all the family..
Thats all that needs to be said on this page not debates.
Rest in peace Tony my thoughts go out to all the family.. Thats all that needs to be said on this page not debates. jack1960
  • Score: 32

6:45pm Wed 13 Aug 14

Carlyanderson13 says...

Listen love this is not a gossip page for u and as his sister has said remove ur comments it's a grieving tribute page 2 our dear friend who woz truly loved and missed by every1 there is a lot of ppl that is heartbroken over this incident including myself so I suggest u remove urself and ur comments off this page it ain't bloody eastenders gossip page it's our dear friend tribute page and his family and friends dnt wanna be seein that ❀️And miss u sooo much Rengert cnt believe ur gone forever xxxxso heartbroken rite about now sleep tight babe πŸ’”πŸ’‹πŸ’‹πŸ’‹πŸ’‹
Listen love this is not a gossip page for u and as his sister has said remove ur comments it's a grieving tribute page 2 our dear friend who woz truly loved and missed by every1 there is a lot of ppl that is heartbroken over this incident including myself so I suggest u remove urself and ur comments off this page it ain't bloody eastenders gossip page it's our dear friend tribute page and his family and friends dnt wanna be seein that ❀️And miss u sooo much Rengert cnt believe ur gone forever xxxxso heartbroken rite about now sleep tight babe πŸ’”πŸ’‹πŸ’‹πŸ’‹πŸ’‹ Carlyanderson13
  • Score: -35

7:24pm Wed 13 Aug 14

Astounded_Chap says...

I didn't know you personally mate, but I'm from the same manor as you and many of my friends appear to of known you. God bless and sleep tight, hopefully you are in a better place now. x
I didn't know you personally mate, but I'm from the same manor as you and many of my friends appear to of known you. God bless and sleep tight, hopefully you are in a better place now. x Astounded_Chap
  • Score: 30

9:14pm Wed 13 Aug 14

Annadavis says...

I met Tony through my husband who was known him for many years, and what a lovely boy he was.He was an excellent father too. Can't imagine what he was going through, just hope he is peaceful and content now being an angel. Sleep tight Tony, you'll en remembered here for a very long time 😘
I met Tony through my husband who was known him for many years, and what a lovely boy he was.He was an excellent father too. Can't imagine what he was going through, just hope he is peaceful and content now being an angel. Sleep tight Tony, you'll en remembered here for a very long time 😘 Annadavis
  • Score: 30

10:41am Thu 14 Aug 14

concerned.erith says...

Carlyanderson13 wrote:
Listen love this is not a gossip page for u and as his sister has said remove ur comments it's a grieving tribute page 2 our dear friend who woz truly loved and missed by every1 there is a lot of ppl that is heartbroken over this incident including myself so I suggest u remove urself and ur comments off this page it ain't bloody eastenders gossip page it's our dear friend tribute page and his family and friends dnt wanna be seein that ❀️And miss u sooo much Rengert cnt believe ur gone forever xxxxso heartbroken rite about now sleep tight babe πŸ’”πŸ’‹πŸ’‹πŸ’‹πŸ’‹
Set a tribute page up on facebook. Everyone on this site has the right to their own opinion.

Very sad situation and I went through this myself so understand how raw this is. But this isnt the place. Get a dictionary too love so you know how to spell so the rest of us can understand what you are actually trying ot say instead of text speak.
[quote][p][bold]Carlyanderson13[/bold] wrote: Listen love this is not a gossip page for u and as his sister has said remove ur comments it's a grieving tribute page 2 our dear friend who woz truly loved and missed by every1 there is a lot of ppl that is heartbroken over this incident including myself so I suggest u remove urself and ur comments off this page it ain't bloody eastenders gossip page it's our dear friend tribute page and his family and friends dnt wanna be seein that ❀️And miss u sooo much Rengert cnt believe ur gone forever xxxxso heartbroken rite about now sleep tight babe πŸ’”πŸ’‹πŸ’‹πŸ’‹πŸ’‹[/p][/quote]Set a tribute page up on facebook. Everyone on this site has the right to their own opinion. Very sad situation and I went through this myself so understand how raw this is. But this isnt the place. Get a dictionary too love so you know how to spell so the rest of us can understand what you are actually trying ot say instead of text speak. concerned.erith
  • Score: 47

10:52am Thu 14 Aug 14

concerned.erith says...

jack1960 wrote:
Rest in peace Tony my thoughts go out to all the family..
Thats all that needs to be said on this page not debates.
Very well said
[quote][p][bold]jack1960[/bold] wrote: Rest in peace Tony my thoughts go out to all the family.. Thats all that needs to be said on this page not debates.[/p][/quote]Very well said concerned.erith
  • Score: 11

2:35pm Thu 14 Aug 14

R-Dubya says...

I passed the Pleasaunce yesterday and saw the flowers: it's saddening to now learn what they were about.
In a way, I think I can understand why someone local might choose a place like that, with its calm and beauty, as the last thing they would see.
Condolences to Tony's family and friends.
I passed the Pleasaunce yesterday and saw the flowers: it's saddening to now learn what they were about. In a way, I think I can understand why someone local might choose a place like that, with its calm and beauty, as the last thing they would see. Condolences to Tony's family and friends. R-Dubya
  • Score: 20

7:21pm Thu 14 Aug 14

reptiles says...

Some say suicide is a cowards way out - But a coward could not do it. You have to be a very very brave person to actually go ahead with it, or mental unstable - please do not take that the wrong way. For a person to do something like that something is seriously wrong. He was not thinking straight, or thinking of his family, he was not selfish, poor guy was only thinking he had either no one to turn to. As a few have said they felt they had no option but to think about or attempt suicide - suppose we could al say that!! Problem is people are very quick to judge what they know nothing about. on the outside most people can hide how they feel - how you may ask, because they learn to live a lie to people and unless you are in that situation you have no idea. poor guy didnt go out with the intention to upset his family by leaving a note and threatening to do something. something must have flipped and made him think the way he did weather he meant to do it or not. When you are that low you do not think about who will find you and how they feel as you are probably not in the right state on mind. If some of you think he was being selfish by taking his own life then maybe you need to think about your own lives. his family and friends im sure miss him, but at the time they may well have been the last thing he worried about. If his partner & children were no longer in his life it must have hurt him so much he felt he could not cope or go on without them.
May he rest in peace and feel better about himself now.
People commit these acts as they feel lost and feel its maybe the only way they can get peace, does not necessarily mean they are suffering mental health issues, or going crazy. There is only 1 person who knows and he can no longer tell anyone.
Some say suicide is a cowards way out - But a coward could not do it. You have to be a very very brave person to actually go ahead with it, or mental unstable - please do not take that the wrong way. For a person to do something like that something is seriously wrong. He was not thinking straight, or thinking of his family, he was not selfish, poor guy was only thinking he had either no one to turn to. As a few have said they felt they had no option but to think about or attempt suicide - suppose we could al say that!! Problem is people are very quick to judge what they know nothing about. on the outside most people can hide how they feel - how you may ask, because they learn to live a lie to people and unless you are in that situation you have no idea. poor guy didnt go out with the intention to upset his family by leaving a note and threatening to do something. something must have flipped and made him think the way he did weather he meant to do it or not. When you are that low you do not think about who will find you and how they feel as you are probably not in the right state on mind. If some of you think he was being selfish by taking his own life then maybe you need to think about your own lives. his family and friends im sure miss him, but at the time they may well have been the last thing he worried about. If his partner & children were no longer in his life it must have hurt him so much he felt he could not cope or go on without them. May he rest in peace and feel better about himself now. People commit these acts as they feel lost and feel its maybe the only way they can get peace, does not necessarily mean they are suffering mental health issues, or going crazy. There is only 1 person who knows and he can no longer tell anyone. reptiles
  • Score: 16

10:54am Fri 15 Aug 14

sarfflondonbird says...

Condolences to this fella's family on this sad news.
Don't agree with the abusive posts by the 'nearest and dearest' against citygirl. What she has posted makes sense, well it does to most of us with an ounce of common sense and ability to string a well composed sentence together! It is appreciated there are raw emotions at the moment but you are hardly displaying respectful posts on your so called 'tribute page'to Tony yourselves. If you want just tributes, maybe you should open a page in the obituaries section instead.
Condolences to this fella's family on this sad news. Don't agree with the abusive posts by the 'nearest and dearest' against citygirl. What she has posted makes sense, well it does to most of us with an ounce of common sense and ability to string a well composed sentence together! It is appreciated there are raw emotions at the moment but you are hardly displaying respectful posts on your so called 'tribute page'to Tony yourselves. If you want just tributes, maybe you should open a page in the obituaries section instead. sarfflondonbird
  • Score: 32

10:54am Fri 15 Aug 14

jenny01 says...

So sorry for everyones loss it's very sad but maybe a private tribute page would be better,everyone knows publishing in the newsshopper invites anyone to comment,hope he RIP and the poor person/people who found him are ok to
So sorry for everyones loss it's very sad but maybe a private tribute page would be better,everyone knows publishing in the newsshopper invites anyone to comment,hope he RIP and the poor person/people who found him are ok to jenny01
  • Score: 24

11:15am Fri 15 Aug 14

queeny45 says...

I didn't personally know this young man, but I can relate to how depression can have many different sides, I have been suffering with depression for 7 years and at first I was in denial and I didn't receive help as I thought I was strong enough to deal with it but I obviously wasn't as I went down to that dark place a few times and it is tough trying to get out of that area in your life.And it is soo sad that this man's doctor couldn't see the signs if they did then he would still be with his children and family now, as his family said they knew something was wrong and tried to get him help but was told he was ok, now there are unanswered questions why this loving family man was left to suffer and had hit rock bottom that he felt that the only way he could rid himself of these evil demons was to take himself away from the children he so loved and his family to get some peace in his life.Its a evil illness that goes so many times unrecognized and its no comfort to his family knowing he could have been helped.My heart felt sympathies go out to his doting children and his loving family.I wish them all the best in having to deal with such a loss.GOD BLESS YOU TONY,R.I.P. a young man taken for the wrong reasons.xx
I didn't personally know this young man, but I can relate to how depression can have many different sides, I have been suffering with depression for 7 years and at first I was in denial and I didn't receive help as I thought I was strong enough to deal with it but I obviously wasn't as I went down to that dark place a few times and it is tough trying to get out of that area in your life.And it is soo sad that this man's doctor couldn't see the signs if they did then he would still be with his children and family now, as his family said they knew something was wrong and tried to get him help but was told he was ok, now there are unanswered questions why this loving family man was left to suffer and had hit rock bottom that he felt that the only way he could rid himself of these evil demons was to take himself away from the children he so loved and his family to get some peace in his life.Its a evil illness that goes so many times unrecognized and its no comfort to his family knowing he could have been helped.My heart felt sympathies go out to his doting children and his loving family.I wish them all the best in having to deal with such a loss.GOD BLESS YOU TONY,R.I.P. a young man taken for the wrong reasons.xx queeny45
  • Score: 15

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