Vibe's picks of what's on this week in south east London and north Kent (July 23 to 30)
Dark and Stormy Late at the National Maritime Museum, from 6pm to 9pm on Thursday, July 24
An off-kilter evening to mark the opening of the exhibitions Ships, Clocks and Stars and Guiding Lights. The night includes cabaret and performances, a pub quiz, cocktails tours and the curators presenting their obsessions on a gangplank under a time limit.
Entry £5 or £4 members, which includes entry to Ships, Clocks and Stars and a free glass of wine or non-alcoholic alternative for members. Go to rmg.co.uk
Awesome Archaeology at Eltham Palace, from 10am to 5pm from Sunday (July 27) to Tuesday (July 29)
Youngsters can unearth hidden treasures and make fantastic finds at the Art Deco palace which was the childhood home of Henry VIII. The mini dig costs £1 plus standard entry fee. Go to English-heritage.co.uk/eltham
Crown Comedy Club at The Crown in Blackheath tonight (Wednesday, July 23)
Edinburgh previews from Danny Bhoy and Michael Legge with Robin Ince. Tickets £7 on the door, £6 in advance and £5 with an NUS card. Go to crowncomedy.co.uk
Outdoor cinema at Mycenae House in Blackheath, 8.30pm on Friday (July 25) and Saturday (July 26)
See Shaun of the Dead (Friday) or The Full Monty (Saturday) under the stars in Blackheath. There will also be posh burgers, pop corn and sweets. Tickets £10 in advance. Go to popupscreens.co.uk
Songs for a Summer Evening at The Croft Tea Room, St Mary Cray, from 7pm on Saturday (July 26)
Enjoy a three-course meal serenaded by John on his acoustic guitar at the tea room in St Mary Cray High Street, with an al fresco option if the weather is up to it. £18.50. Book by calling 07741 419641, 07952 906071 or e-mailing firstname.lastname@example.org
Globe on Screen at Empire Cinema in Bromley on Monday (July 28)
Beamed live from Shakespeare’s theatre comes one of his most loved pieces, A Midsummer Night’s Dream, starring Olivier Award winner Michelle Terry. Go to empirecinemas.co.uk
Great Welling Charity Beer Festival at Guy Earl of Warwick pub, from Friday (July 25) to Sunday (July 27)
The third annual beer festival is organised by Bexley Round Table and features more than 30 real ales and ciders, as well as live music. Admission is free, but a £3 commemorative glass must be bought at the outside bar. Go to wellingbeerfestival.co.uk
Dawn French in 30 Million Minutes at the Orchard Theatre, Dartford, from Wednesday (July 30) to Saturday (August 2)
The national treasure and alternative comedian shares her life’s lessons in the acclaimed show directed by Michael Grandage. Tickets £25 to £39. Go to orchardtheatre.co.uk
Seann Walsh and Rob Beckett at The Woodville, Gravesend, from 8pm on Thursday (July 24)
Laughing Boy’s Comedy and Curry night returns with more Edinburgh previews, this time from Fosters Award nominee Seann Walsh and Mottingham funny man Rob Beckett. Tickets £12 or £17.50 with a curry. Go to Woodville.co.uk
Open air theatre at Hall Place, Bexley, from 7pm tonight (Wednesday, July 23)
Shakespeare’s The Tempest is given a unique and hilarious overhaul in this outdoor show with music, magic and mayhem.
Picnics are welcome and you should bring something to sit/lay on. Tickets £12 adults, £10 concessions and £8 under 16s. Call 01322 621238.
London Dungeon’s Carnivale from Saturday (July 26) to Sunday (July 31)
Be greeted by knife throwers, a discombobulating hall of mirrors and strongman strength testing before taking in 18 gruesome shows and two rides. Entry £17.50 adults or £15.95 children. Go to thedungeons.com/london
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