Baby on board but nobody cares: Most London commuters won't give up seat to pregnant woman on public transport, study finds

Georgina Kotjan tested how willing people would be to give up their seat to a pregnant woman on the Tube and other train services around London

Georgina Kotjan tested how willing people would be to give up their seat to a pregnant woman on the Tube and other train services around London

First published in News News Shopper: Photograph of the Author by , web manager

London commuters lack common courtesy, according to a woman who pretended to be pregnant for a study testing people’s reactions.

Georgina Kotjan, a student researcher at the University of Westminster, travelled around for 10 hours on the Tube and Overground – during which time only 20 polite people offered her their seat, despite Georgina wearing a ‘Baby on Board’ badge.

Prior to her study, she carried out a survey of 100 Londoners on social media and at Underground stations, asking them if they generally give up their seats on public transport to pregnant women. Every single one of them said yes.

However, when it came to putting the theory to the test, Georgina encountered a completely different outcome.

She said: “I took several Tube journeys as a pregnant woman with a ‘Baby on Board’ badge to test people’s politeness. The result was shocking and it made me decide I never want to be a pregnant woman in London.

News Shopper:

“I was surrounded by hundreds of people on my journeys but most of them were too busy with their phones and papers and it took me more than 10 hours of travelling to gather a hundred people who actually noticed me.

“I gave a card to people who offered their seats, saying ‘Congratulations! You’ve offered your seat to a pregnant woman’. Unsuccessful people got ‘You didn’t pass the test’.

“The reactions were diverse; people got either ashamed or angry and did not want to comment on the situation.”

News Shopper:

Georgina, who comes from Hungary, went on: “I have been living in London for two and a half years and it was not difficult to notice that Tube and bus journeys are nightmares for pregnant ladies.

“It is common courtesy for me no matter how tired, sick or busy I am. The health of young mums-to-be is being put at risk because of people’s carelessness.

TfL has done its best by introducing priority seats and free ‘Baby on Board’ badges. Now, Londoners need to open their eyes and change their attitude.”

Transport for London says on its website it understands asking for a seat on the Tube can be difficult for mums-to-be.

But passengers are more likely to see pregnant women may need a seat if they are wearing a Baby on Board badge, it claims.

The badges aim to combat any awkwardness that may be felt when asking someone to give up their seat. It also lets passengers in priority seats know when they should give them up.

Badges can be obtained by emailing babyonboard@tfl.gov.uk with your name and address.

Being honest, how likely are you to offer up your seat to a pregnant woman on a crowded train or bus? What about when you see a mother holding a small child, an elderly person struggling to stand or anyone else who’s obviously in need of a sit-down?

Are Georgina’s findings showing the majority of commuters being too indifferent or rude to give up their seat typical in your experience?

Other than seat manners, are there other areas of public transport travel where you think people should show more courtesy?

Add your comments below.

Comments (31)

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7:44am Mon 7 Apr 14

Biscuit says...

Why do you need a seat? You're 'pregnant' not ill!
Why do you need a seat? You're 'pregnant' not ill! Biscuit
  • Score: -6

8:13am Mon 7 Apr 14

KerryandStu says...

Who's to say that the people who didn't give up their seats weren't pregnant or disabled... And maybe people knew she was faking..
Who's to say that the people who didn't give up their seats weren't pregnant or disabled... And maybe people knew she was faking.. KerryandStu
  • Score: 23

8:22am Mon 7 Apr 14

Frank Brock says...

Preganant women should be at home doing housework instead of cluttering up trains full of well intentioned people trying to get to work
Preganant women should be at home doing housework instead of cluttering up trains full of well intentioned people trying to get to work Frank Brock
  • Score: -49

8:37am Mon 7 Apr 14

Citygirl83 says...

I can't believe the comments above, yes pregnancy isn't a illness but it can make you extremely tired/sick or faint. Would you rather give up your seat or have your train/tube delayed because of a pregnant woman being taken ill?
I worked up to a month before my due date and I only wore my baby on board badge when I started to show, Luckily because I get on the train at greenhithe I was always able to get a seat and travel to cannon street so again always got a seat. I would never have asked someone to give up their seat though unless I really felt it necessary. I had terrible morning sickness for the first three months and because of that often felt dizzy or faint.
Frank Brock - you would be moaning if all those pregnant woman sat at home claiming benefits. When you get pregnant are you no longer entitled to work in your opinion.
Seriously some people need to get their heads out their backsides or the dark ages
I can't believe the comments above, yes pregnancy isn't a illness but it can make you extremely tired/sick or faint. Would you rather give up your seat or have your train/tube delayed because of a pregnant woman being taken ill? I worked up to a month before my due date and I only wore my baby on board badge when I started to show, Luckily because I get on the train at greenhithe I was always able to get a seat and travel to cannon street so again always got a seat. I would never have asked someone to give up their seat though unless I really felt it necessary. I had terrible morning sickness for the first three months and because of that often felt dizzy or faint. Frank Brock - you would be moaning if all those pregnant woman sat at home claiming benefits. When you get pregnant are you no longer entitled to work in your opinion. Seriously some people need to get their heads out their backsides or the dark ages Citygirl83
  • Score: 39

9:21am Mon 7 Apr 14

PaulErith says...

Citygirl83 wrote:
I can't believe the comments above, yes pregnancy isn't a illness but it can make you extremely tired/sick or faint. Would you rather give up your seat or have your train/tube delayed because of a pregnant woman being taken ill?
I worked up to a month before my due date and I only wore my baby on board badge when I started to show, Luckily because I get on the train at greenhithe I was always able to get a seat and travel to cannon street so again always got a seat. I would never have asked someone to give up their seat though unless I really felt it necessary. I had terrible morning sickness for the first three months and because of that often felt dizzy or faint.
Frank Brock - you would be moaning if all those pregnant woman sat at home claiming benefits. When you get pregnant are you no longer entitled to work in your opinion.
Seriously some people need to get their heads out their backsides or the dark ages
I think the point that some people were making, and of which I agree, is that it's not as clear cut that someone should offer their seat to someone who is pregnant. Many people have illnesses or conditions that may not be evident just from looking them, but actually mean that they are less able to stand than a pregnant woman. I'm sure there's many people who could and should offer their seat, but it's wrong to label everyone that doesn't as being rude or ignorant.
[quote][p][bold]Citygirl83[/bold] wrote: I can't believe the comments above, yes pregnancy isn't a illness but it can make you extremely tired/sick or faint. Would you rather give up your seat or have your train/tube delayed because of a pregnant woman being taken ill? I worked up to a month before my due date and I only wore my baby on board badge when I started to show, Luckily because I get on the train at greenhithe I was always able to get a seat and travel to cannon street so again always got a seat. I would never have asked someone to give up their seat though unless I really felt it necessary. I had terrible morning sickness for the first three months and because of that often felt dizzy or faint. Frank Brock - you would be moaning if all those pregnant woman sat at home claiming benefits. When you get pregnant are you no longer entitled to work in your opinion. Seriously some people need to get their heads out their backsides or the dark ages[/p][/quote]I think the point that some people were making, and of which I agree, is that it's not as clear cut that someone should offer their seat to someone who is pregnant. Many people have illnesses or conditions that may not be evident just from looking them, but actually mean that they are less able to stand than a pregnant woman. I'm sure there's many people who could and should offer their seat, but it's wrong to label everyone that doesn't as being rude or ignorant. PaulErith
  • Score: 35

9:28am Mon 7 Apr 14

cookster says...

I've been burned - I gave up my seat with the words "you're need is greater than mine" to a pregnant woman and yes, she wasn't. The badges are a great idea.
I've been burned - I gave up my seat with the words "you're need is greater than mine" to a pregnant woman and yes, she wasn't. The badges are a great idea. cookster
  • Score: 24

10:00am Mon 7 Apr 14

goldenbroomboy says...

PaulErith wrote:
Citygirl83 wrote:
I can't believe the comments above, yes pregnancy isn't a illness but it can make you extremely tired/sick or faint. Would you rather give up your seat or have your train/tube delayed because of a pregnant woman being taken ill?
I worked up to a month before my due date and I only wore my baby on board badge when I started to show, Luckily because I get on the train at greenhithe I was always able to get a seat and travel to cannon street so again always got a seat. I would never have asked someone to give up their seat though unless I really felt it necessary. I had terrible morning sickness for the first three months and because of that often felt dizzy or faint.
Frank Brock - you would be moaning if all those pregnant woman sat at home claiming benefits. When you get pregnant are you no longer entitled to work in your opinion.
Seriously some people need to get their heads out their backsides or the dark ages
I think the point that some people were making, and of which I agree, is that it's not as clear cut that someone should offer their seat to someone who is pregnant. Many people have illnesses or conditions that may not be evident just from looking them, but actually mean that they are less able to stand than a pregnant woman. I'm sure there's many people who could and should offer their seat, but it's wrong to label everyone that doesn't as being rude or ignorant.
Qualified support for you there, Paul. I don't think that the majority of people sitting on trains, buses etc have conditions that make it difficult to stand, but it does happen. A few years ago I hobbled onto a bus in Bromley with my late grandfather's walking stick since I was suffering from sciatica, and an elderly gentleman obviously closer to the tomb than the womb stood up & offered his seat to me. I was in such pain that I gratefully accepted (I hope that the gentleman is still with us & is enjoying life). A day later I was sitting on the reserved seats on a bus going through the Sharm when a middle aged woman sat beside me & grumpily informed me "these seats are for people who cannot stand" to which I indicated my walking stick. She fell silent.
[quote][p][bold]PaulErith[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]Citygirl83[/bold] wrote: I can't believe the comments above, yes pregnancy isn't a illness but it can make you extremely tired/sick or faint. Would you rather give up your seat or have your train/tube delayed because of a pregnant woman being taken ill? I worked up to a month before my due date and I only wore my baby on board badge when I started to show, Luckily because I get on the train at greenhithe I was always able to get a seat and travel to cannon street so again always got a seat. I would never have asked someone to give up their seat though unless I really felt it necessary. I had terrible morning sickness for the first three months and because of that often felt dizzy or faint. Frank Brock - you would be moaning if all those pregnant woman sat at home claiming benefits. When you get pregnant are you no longer entitled to work in your opinion. Seriously some people need to get their heads out their backsides or the dark ages[/p][/quote]I think the point that some people were making, and of which I agree, is that it's not as clear cut that someone should offer their seat to someone who is pregnant. Many people have illnesses or conditions that may not be evident just from looking them, but actually mean that they are less able to stand than a pregnant woman. I'm sure there's many people who could and should offer their seat, but it's wrong to label everyone that doesn't as being rude or ignorant.[/p][/quote]Qualified support for you there, Paul. I don't think that the majority of people sitting on trains, buses etc have conditions that make it difficult to stand, but it does happen. A few years ago I hobbled onto a bus in Bromley with my late grandfather's walking stick since I was suffering from sciatica, and an elderly gentleman obviously closer to the tomb than the womb stood up & offered his seat to me. I was in such pain that I gratefully accepted (I hope that the gentleman is still with us & is enjoying life). A day later I was sitting on the reserved seats on a bus going through the Sharm when a middle aged woman sat beside me & grumpily informed me "these seats are for people who cannot stand" to which I indicated my walking stick. She fell silent. goldenbroomboy
  • Score: 26

12:32pm Mon 7 Apr 14

Gypo.Joe says...

Sad to see the age of chivalry has long gone I'm afraid. There's not many of us gentlemen around anymore who would give up our seats for an OAP or pregnant woman.

It's all about me me me now.
Sad to see the age of chivalry has long gone I'm afraid. There's not many of us gentlemen around anymore who would give up our seats for an OAP or pregnant woman. It's all about me me me now. Gypo.Joe
  • Score: 34

12:33pm Mon 7 Apr 14

white rabbit9 says...

If I'd of been the person to offer this lady a seat and to find out she was not pregnant but part of some study, I WOULD BE PI$$ED OFF. I am not a bloody rat you can study. Yes the world is not a nice place atm but you who want to study people will make the place no better. ffs, really angers me.
If you wanna understand why the world is the place it is atm then open your mind. http://www.davidicke
.com/forum/ The people in there can tell you everything you need to know why the world and people are what they are.
If I'd of been the person to offer this lady a seat and to find out she was not pregnant but part of some study, I WOULD BE PI$$ED OFF. I am not a bloody rat you can study. Yes the world is not a nice place atm but you who want to study people will make the place no better. ffs, really angers me. If you wanna understand why the world is the place it is atm then open your mind. http://www.davidicke .com/forum/ The people in there can tell you everything you need to know why the world and people are what they are. white rabbit9
  • Score: -34

12:35pm Mon 7 Apr 14

Gypo.Joe says...

PS, I await the negative votes with pride.

Bring it on Mo Fos.
PS, I await the negative votes with pride. Bring it on Mo Fos. Gypo.Joe
  • Score: 24

1:41pm Mon 7 Apr 14

sarfflondonbird says...

Frank Brock wrote:
Preganant women should be at home doing housework instead of cluttering up trains full of well intentioned people trying to get to work
We all know why manners have gone out of the window in this country today. Shame, the education system we have does not teach children from an early age the words please, thank you, and show courtesy to others as well as expecting respect for them. It's a two way thing.
I would willingly give up my seat for any woman that is pregnant, even though I have a permanent back/legs disability that will show no signs of improvement, meaning I too, cannot stand for long periods of time, especially on moving transport.
As for the sexist remark made by the person above, women are not put on earth solely to carry out chores in the home. Unfortunately, nowadays they too have to work to bring in a wage so that man can survive and stuff his face with food, have clean and pressed clothes, a clean bed to sleep in, and money in his pocket to go p1ss1ng it up down the pubs or squandering it in betting shops.
[quote][p][bold]Frank Brock[/bold] wrote: Preganant women should be at home doing housework instead of cluttering up trains full of well intentioned people trying to get to work[/p][/quote]We all know why manners have gone out of the window in this country today. Shame, the education system we have does not teach children from an early age the words please, thank you, and show courtesy to others as well as expecting respect for them. It's a two way thing. I would willingly give up my seat for any woman that is pregnant, even though I have a permanent back/legs disability that will show no signs of improvement, meaning I too, cannot stand for long periods of time, especially on moving transport. As for the sexist remark made by the person above, women are not put on earth solely to carry out chores in the home. Unfortunately, nowadays they too have to work to bring in a wage so that man can survive and stuff his face with food, have clean and pressed clothes, a clean bed to sleep in, and money in his pocket to go p1ss1ng it up down the pubs or squandering it in betting shops. sarfflondonbird
  • Score: -36

1:53pm Mon 7 Apr 14

Lilz1986 says...

I would always give up my seat for pregnant, elderly, disabled etc. The problem is, most commuters (me included) will get on the train and immediately read a book or watch something on their phones...i'm not going to look up every single stop and check if there is anyone needing a seat. Just ask!!!!! I know I would if I was pregnant!
I would always give up my seat for pregnant, elderly, disabled etc. The problem is, most commuters (me included) will get on the train and immediately read a book or watch something on their phones...i'm not going to look up every single stop and check if there is anyone needing a seat. Just ask!!!!! I know I would if I was pregnant! Lilz1986
  • Score: 25

2:20pm Mon 7 Apr 14

concerned.erith says...

I used to commute and was once in the old first class carrige. A bloke got on a London Bridge (from Cannon STreet) with a walking stick. The papers went up from the suits, so I offeredf to give my seat up, but there was a hairy biker type sitting next to me and he gave his seat up so I didn't have to.

Nothing changes!
I used to commute and was once in the old first class carrige. A bloke got on a London Bridge (from Cannon STreet) with a walking stick. The papers went up from the suits, so I offeredf to give my seat up, but there was a hairy biker type sitting next to me and he gave his seat up so I didn't have to. Nothing changes! concerned.erith
  • Score: 16

2:36pm Mon 7 Apr 14

PaulErith says...

Lilz1986 wrote:
I would always give up my seat for pregnant, elderly, disabled etc. The problem is, most commuters (me included) will get on the train and immediately read a book or watch something on their phones...i'm not going to look up every single stop and check if there is anyone needing a seat. Just ask!!!!! I know I would if I was pregnant!
That's very true. I normally fall asleep within seconds of sitting down and generally don't wake up until my final destination (or beyond on occasions). It's not put on, I'm genuinely out of it! Hence, I wouldn't know if someone's needing a seat.
[quote][p][bold]Lilz1986[/bold] wrote: I would always give up my seat for pregnant, elderly, disabled etc. The problem is, most commuters (me included) will get on the train and immediately read a book or watch something on their phones...i'm not going to look up every single stop and check if there is anyone needing a seat. Just ask!!!!! I know I would if I was pregnant![/p][/quote]That's very true. I normally fall asleep within seconds of sitting down and generally don't wake up until my final destination (or beyond on occasions). It's not put on, I'm genuinely out of it! Hence, I wouldn't know if someone's needing a seat. PaulErith
  • Score: 9

4:31pm Mon 7 Apr 14

whats common about sense says...

I am fed up of the sense of entitlement some pregnant women have, I am disabled, I suffer from Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and dysautonomia, you cannot see the disability unless you look closely enough to notice my knees bending the wrong way and my elbows doing the same, I get crazy dizziness when I stand, especially when it is hot, nobody offers me a seat, I have been abused by a pregnant woman who insisted that she deserved the seat more than I do, well IMO you got yourself into that situation though your own actions and choices, people with a disability didn't choose it and there is no hidden disability badge so people with hidden disabilities get a seat, so as far as I am concerned count yourselves lucky you get a badge to help people identify you! As for asking people - good luck with that!
I am fed up of the sense of entitlement some pregnant women have, I am disabled, I suffer from Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and dysautonomia, you cannot see the disability unless you look closely enough to notice my knees bending the wrong way and my elbows doing the same, I get crazy dizziness when I stand, especially when it is hot, nobody offers me a seat, I have been abused by a pregnant woman who insisted that she deserved the seat more than I do, well IMO you got yourself into that situation though your own actions and choices, people with a disability didn't choose it and there is no hidden disability badge so people with hidden disabilities get a seat, so as far as I am concerned count yourselves lucky you get a badge to help people identify you! As for asking people - good luck with that! whats common about sense
  • Score: 19

12:55am Tue 8 Apr 14

ISaidThis says...

sarfflondonbird wrote:
Frank Brock wrote:
Preganant women should be at home doing housework instead of cluttering up trains full of well intentioned people trying to get to work
We all know why manners have gone out of the window in this country today. Shame, the education system we have does not teach children from an early age the words please, thank you, and show courtesy to others as well as expecting respect for them. It's a two way thing.
I would willingly give up my seat for any woman that is pregnant, even though I have a permanent back/legs disability that will show no signs of improvement, meaning I too, cannot stand for long periods of time, especially on moving transport.
As for the sexist remark made by the person above, women are not put on earth solely to carry out chores in the home. Unfortunately, nowadays they too have to work to bring in a wage so that man can survive and stuff his face with food, have clean and pressed clothes, a clean bed to sleep in, and money in his pocket to go p1ss1ng it up down the pubs or squandering it in betting shops.
"Shame, the education system we have does not teach children from an early age the words please, thank you, and show courtesy to others as well as expecting respect for them"

Probably because that's the job of parents.
[quote][p][bold]sarfflondonbird[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]Frank Brock[/bold] wrote: Preganant women should be at home doing housework instead of cluttering up trains full of well intentioned people trying to get to work[/p][/quote]We all know why manners have gone out of the window in this country today. Shame, the education system we have does not teach children from an early age the words please, thank you, and show courtesy to others as well as expecting respect for them. It's a two way thing. I would willingly give up my seat for any woman that is pregnant, even though I have a permanent back/legs disability that will show no signs of improvement, meaning I too, cannot stand for long periods of time, especially on moving transport. As for the sexist remark made by the person above, women are not put on earth solely to carry out chores in the home. Unfortunately, nowadays they too have to work to bring in a wage so that man can survive and stuff his face with food, have clean and pressed clothes, a clean bed to sleep in, and money in his pocket to go p1ss1ng it up down the pubs or squandering it in betting shops.[/p][/quote]"Shame, the education system we have does not teach children from an early age the words please, thank you, and show courtesy to others as well as expecting respect for them" Probably because that's the job of parents. ISaidThis
  • Score: 20

5:37am Tue 8 Apr 14

Citygirl83 says...

goldenbroomboy wrote:
PaulErith wrote:
Citygirl83 wrote: I can't believe the comments above, yes pregnancy isn't a illness but it can make you extremely tired/sick or faint. Would you rather give up your seat or have your train/tube delayed because of a pregnant woman being taken ill? I worked up to a month before my due date and I only wore my baby on board badge when I started to show, Luckily because I get on the train at greenhithe I was always able to get a seat and travel to cannon street so again always got a seat. I would never have asked someone to give up their seat though unless I really felt it necessary. I had terrible morning sickness for the first three months and because of that often felt dizzy or faint. Frank Brock - you would be moaning if all those pregnant woman sat at home claiming benefits. When you get pregnant are you no longer entitled to work in your opinion. Seriously some people need to get their heads out their backsides or the dark ages
I think the point that some people were making, and of which I agree, is that it's not as clear cut that someone should offer their seat to someone who is pregnant. Many people have illnesses or conditions that may not be evident just from looking them, but actually mean that they are less able to stand than a pregnant woman. I'm sure there's many people who could and should offer their seat, but it's wrong to label everyone that doesn't as being rude or ignorant.
Qualified support for you there, Paul. I don't think that the majority of people sitting on trains, buses etc have conditions that make it difficult to stand, but it does happen. A few years ago I hobbled onto a bus in Bromley with my late grandfather's walking stick since I was suffering from sciatica, and an elderly gentleman obviously closer to the tomb than the womb stood up & offered his seat to me. I was in such pain that I gratefully accepted (I hope that the gentleman is still with us & is enjoying life). A day later I was sitting on the reserved seats on a bus going through the Sharm when a middle aged woman sat beside me & grumpily informed me "these seats are for people who cannot stand" to which I indicated my walking stick. She fell silent.
Guys I fully understand that, if I ever saw someone I felt needed my seat I would offer it up straight away, I often have.
I'll never forget being asked to give up my seat while pregnant by another pregnant woman, she was pretty rude about it and pointed at her badge, to which I pointed back at mine. Needless to say she huffed off.
I just think people forget common sense, decency and manners a lot of the time now, manners cost nothing, don't be afraid to ask someone you think may need a seat if they would like to sit down. A little bit of gratitude goes a long way.
[quote][p][bold]goldenbroomboy[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]PaulErith[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]Citygirl83[/bold] wrote: I can't believe the comments above, yes pregnancy isn't a illness but it can make you extremely tired/sick or faint. Would you rather give up your seat or have your train/tube delayed because of a pregnant woman being taken ill? I worked up to a month before my due date and I only wore my baby on board badge when I started to show, Luckily because I get on the train at greenhithe I was always able to get a seat and travel to cannon street so again always got a seat. I would never have asked someone to give up their seat though unless I really felt it necessary. I had terrible morning sickness for the first three months and because of that often felt dizzy or faint. Frank Brock - you would be moaning if all those pregnant woman sat at home claiming benefits. When you get pregnant are you no longer entitled to work in your opinion. Seriously some people need to get their heads out their backsides or the dark ages[/p][/quote]I think the point that some people were making, and of which I agree, is that it's not as clear cut that someone should offer their seat to someone who is pregnant. Many people have illnesses or conditions that may not be evident just from looking them, but actually mean that they are less able to stand than a pregnant woman. I'm sure there's many people who could and should offer their seat, but it's wrong to label everyone that doesn't as being rude or ignorant.[/p][/quote]Qualified support for you there, Paul. I don't think that the majority of people sitting on trains, buses etc have conditions that make it difficult to stand, but it does happen. A few years ago I hobbled onto a bus in Bromley with my late grandfather's walking stick since I was suffering from sciatica, and an elderly gentleman obviously closer to the tomb than the womb stood up & offered his seat to me. I was in such pain that I gratefully accepted (I hope that the gentleman is still with us & is enjoying life). A day later I was sitting on the reserved seats on a bus going through the Sharm when a middle aged woman sat beside me & grumpily informed me "these seats are for people who cannot stand" to which I indicated my walking stick. She fell silent.[/p][/quote]Guys I fully understand that, if I ever saw someone I felt needed my seat I would offer it up straight away, I often have. I'll never forget being asked to give up my seat while pregnant by another pregnant woman, she was pretty rude about it and pointed at her badge, to which I pointed back at mine. Needless to say she huffed off. I just think people forget common sense, decency and manners a lot of the time now, manners cost nothing, don't be afraid to ask someone you think may need a seat if they would like to sit down. A little bit of gratitude goes a long way. Citygirl83
  • Score: 9

9:48am Tue 8 Apr 14

SteveCope says...

I am autistic, have flat feet that get extremely painful, I have back problems and am a grown up congenital heart disorder patient. I often have difficulties getting up from a seat, and often feel faint if I have been moving around too much.
However, non of this is visible (except my scar from my heart op 21 years ago) and because I am a young looking 23 year old, people assume I am fit and healthy and can jump up and offer my seat and stand often when the bus is VERY crowded. Infact, I was once on a 51 coming back from Welling to Orpo, and at Sidcup some woman demanded MY seat, on a virtually empty bus, and got angry when I refused. I was not in a priority seat and I had only sat where I did due to the breeze coming in through the window, and this was on a day that it was 29c, which is hard for someone with the combination of conditions that I have.
Did not help that this was a few years back, when I was also suffering from severe depression and had not left the house for just over a week.
People need to THINK. Not assume.
I am autistic, have flat feet that get extremely painful, I have back problems and am a grown up congenital heart disorder patient. I often have difficulties getting up from a seat, and often feel faint if I have been moving around too much. However, non of this is visible (except my scar from my heart op 21 years ago) and because I am a young looking 23 year old, people assume I am fit and healthy and can jump up and offer my seat and stand often when the bus is VERY crowded. Infact, I was once on a 51 coming back from Welling to Orpo, and at Sidcup some woman demanded MY seat, on a virtually empty bus, and got angry when I refused. I was not in a priority seat and I had only sat where I did due to the breeze coming in through the window, and this was on a day that it was 29c, which is hard for someone with the combination of conditions that I have. Did not help that this was a few years back, when I was also suffering from severe depression and had not left the house for just over a week. People need to THINK. Not assume. SteveCope
  • Score: 21

1:20pm Tue 8 Apr 14

Crayman says...

Thought women wanted equality ? Can't have it both ways.
Thought women wanted equality ? Can't have it both ways. Crayman
  • Score: 5

1:40pm Tue 8 Apr 14

kentlad says...

As a few people above have already mentioned it’s hard to know who really needs a seat as not many conditions are visible however, just to make a few people smile I recently offered my seat to a lady on the train in rush hour as she was holding her stomach and her facial expressions were clearly noticeable and I could see she was in some discomfort so I offered her my seat…. Wait for her reply, “that’s very kind of you however, I am not pregnant unfortunately I suffer with severe constipation” yep… that’s right, I was more embarrassed than she was and didn’t know where to look!
As a few people above have already mentioned it’s hard to know who really needs a seat as not many conditions are visible however, just to make a few people smile I recently offered my seat to a lady on the train in rush hour as she was holding her stomach and her facial expressions were clearly noticeable and I could see she was in some discomfort so I offered her my seat…. Wait for her reply, “that’s very kind of you however, I am not pregnant unfortunately I suffer with severe constipation” yep… that’s right, I was more embarrassed than she was and didn’t know where to look! kentlad
  • Score: 12

1:43pm Tue 8 Apr 14

MsChevious says...

Most of this could be avoided if people were just decent human beings; for example.

Pregnant Woman: "Excuse me, I'm pregnant and exhausted / dizzy / in discomfort, would you mind letting me sit down?"

Seated Person: "I'm sorry, but I have a disability myself and need the seat, could you ask someone else?"

PW: "No problem. Excuse me would you allow me to sit down?"

Other Person: "Absolutely, how lovely that everyone's been so polite about this."

You can't assume everyone knows your needs - whether you're having a difficult pregnancy, have a disability, or are unwell - you do need to articulate them sometimes, and also accept that your need might not get met immediately. Plus you catch more flies with honey than vinegar - be nice in asking someone for their seat and you're more likely to get it!
Most of this could be avoided if people were just decent human beings; for example. Pregnant Woman: "Excuse me, I'm pregnant and exhausted / dizzy / in discomfort, would you mind letting me sit down?" Seated Person: "I'm sorry, but I have a disability myself and need the seat, could you ask someone else?" PW: "No problem. Excuse me [other person] would you allow me to sit down?" Other Person: "Absolutely, how lovely that everyone's been so polite about this." You can't assume everyone knows your needs - whether you're having a difficult pregnancy, have a disability, or are unwell - you do need to articulate them sometimes, and also accept that your need might not get met immediately. Plus you catch more flies with honey than vinegar - be nice in asking someone for their seat and you're more likely to get it! MsChevious
  • Score: 16

2:17pm Tue 8 Apr 14

shabina says...

i do not give my seat to a pregnant woman, i do give up my seat to an OAP or a disabled person!! she is pregnant not sick !!
i do not give my seat to a pregnant woman, i do give up my seat to an OAP or a disabled person!! she is pregnant not sick !! shabina
  • Score: 2

3:21pm Tue 8 Apr 14

sarfflondonbird says...

ISaidThis wrote:
sarfflondonbird wrote:
Frank Brock wrote:
Preganant women should be at home doing housework instead of cluttering up trains full of well intentioned people trying to get to work
We all know why manners have gone out of the window in this country today. Shame, the education system we have does not teach children from an early age the words please, thank you, and show courtesy to others as well as expecting respect for them. It's a two way thing.
I would willingly give up my seat for any woman that is pregnant, even though I have a permanent back/legs disability that will show no signs of improvement, meaning I too, cannot stand for long periods of time, especially on moving transport.
As for the sexist remark made by the person above, women are not put on earth solely to carry out chores in the home. Unfortunately, nowadays they too have to work to bring in a wage so that man can survive and stuff his face with food, have clean and pressed clothes, a clean bed to sleep in, and money in his pocket to go p1ss1ng it up down the pubs or squandering it in betting shops.
"Shame, the education system we have does not teach children from an early age the words please, thank you, and show courtesy to others as well as expecting respect for them"

Probably because that's the job of parents.
Yes you are right. It should the job of the parents to instill manners into their children, but how many of today s parents actually show manners themselves? Not many. ~They are either too ignorant to use them or, heaven forbid I get called racist again, from another country where they don't even know or speak English let alone learn and use our customs such as please and thank you in public. Now you know I am speaking the truth here?
That's why I think if all the school aged children starting from pre school etc. were educated about using manners and courtesy, and made to use them at all times within the school learning, it would not only go a long way to gaining respect for themselves from others, but will also aid them later in life, for example attending job interviews; setting up businesses and that dreadful meeting with the bank manager; starting their own families and teaching their children - just to name a few.
[quote][p][bold]ISaidThis[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]sarfflondonbird[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]Frank Brock[/bold] wrote: Preganant women should be at home doing housework instead of cluttering up trains full of well intentioned people trying to get to work[/p][/quote]We all know why manners have gone out of the window in this country today. Shame, the education system we have does not teach children from an early age the words please, thank you, and show courtesy to others as well as expecting respect for them. It's a two way thing. I would willingly give up my seat for any woman that is pregnant, even though I have a permanent back/legs disability that will show no signs of improvement, meaning I too, cannot stand for long periods of time, especially on moving transport. As for the sexist remark made by the person above, women are not put on earth solely to carry out chores in the home. Unfortunately, nowadays they too have to work to bring in a wage so that man can survive and stuff his face with food, have clean and pressed clothes, a clean bed to sleep in, and money in his pocket to go p1ss1ng it up down the pubs or squandering it in betting shops.[/p][/quote]"Shame, the education system we have does not teach children from an early age the words please, thank you, and show courtesy to others as well as expecting respect for them" Probably because that's the job of parents.[/p][/quote]Yes you are right. It should the job of the parents to instill manners into their children, but how many of today s parents actually show manners themselves? Not many. ~They are either too ignorant to use them or, heaven forbid I get called racist again, from another country where they don't even know or speak English let alone learn and use our customs such as please and thank you in public. Now you know I am speaking the truth here? That's why I think if all the school aged children starting from pre school etc. were educated about using manners and courtesy, and made to use them at all times within the school learning, it would not only go a long way to gaining respect for themselves from others, but will also aid them later in life, for example attending job interviews; setting up businesses and that dreadful meeting with the bank manager; starting their own families and teaching their children - just to name a few. sarfflondonbird
  • Score: -99

5:26pm Tue 8 Apr 14

nearly right all the time says...

white rabbit9 wrote:
If I'd of been the person to offer this lady a seat and to find out she was not pregnant but part of some study, I WOULD BE PI$$ED OFF. I am not a bloody rat you can study. Yes the world is not a nice place atm but you who want to study people will make the place no better. ffs, really angers me.
If you wanna understand why the world is the place it is atm then open your mind. http://www.davidicke

.com/forum/ The people in there can tell you everything you need to know why the world and people are what they are.
Don't Reptiles lay eggs?
[quote][p][bold]white rabbit9[/bold] wrote: If I'd of been the person to offer this lady a seat and to find out she was not pregnant but part of some study, I WOULD BE PI$$ED OFF. I am not a bloody rat you can study. Yes the world is not a nice place atm but you who want to study people will make the place no better. ffs, really angers me. If you wanna understand why the world is the place it is atm then open your mind. http://www.davidicke .com/forum/ The people in there can tell you everything you need to know why the world and people are what they are.[/p][/quote]Don't Reptiles lay eggs? nearly right all the time
  • Score: -14

7:11pm Tue 8 Apr 14

Gypo.Joe says...

DAVID IKE !!

FFS..

Cuckooo Cuckooooooooo. Cuckooooooooooooooo


'ello it must be spring.
DAVID IKE !! FFS.. Cuckooo Cuckooooooooo. Cuckooooooooooooooo 'ello it must be spring. Gypo.Joe
  • Score: 19

8:29pm Tue 8 Apr 14

nearly right all the time says...

Anybody who thinks the former Coventry city goalkeeper has the inside
track has got to be deluded.

Must use crayons to fill in his benefit forms.!
Anybody who thinks the former Coventry city goalkeeper has the inside track has got to be deluded. Must use crayons to fill in his benefit forms.! nearly right all the time
  • Score: -3

8:33pm Tue 8 Apr 14

flea_in_ear says...

After this I imagine many more expecting ladies will not be offered a seat.

I am a woman. I remember the women's lib days, and feeling terribly embarrassed when an angry woman poured scorn on a man offering her his seat. At that point I think came a change in attitudes and manners. Parents frequently seem to teach their children no manners, as a family of four will happily allow others to step into the road rather than any of them falling behind the others. However this lack of manners can often be seen in groups of children or students from abroad as well, so it is not just the UK.
After this I imagine many more expecting ladies will not be offered a seat. I am a woman. I remember the women's lib days, and feeling terribly embarrassed when an angry woman poured scorn on a man offering her his seat. At that point I think came a change in attitudes and manners. Parents frequently seem to teach their children no manners, as a family of four will happily allow others to step into the road rather than any of them falling behind the others. However this lack of manners can often be seen in groups of children or students from abroad as well, so it is not just the UK. flea_in_ear
  • Score: 12

9:16pm Tue 8 Apr 14

nearly right all the time says...

Here is one for you all, How about more trains, with more seats
so EVEREYBODY CAN SIT DOWN. !

We all pay the fair! and for that I think we should ALL get a seat
Here is one for you all, How about more trains, with more seats so EVEREYBODY CAN SIT DOWN. ! We all pay the fair! and for that I think we should ALL get a seat nearly right all the time
  • Score: 32

9:19am Wed 9 Apr 14

Shea66 says...

I'm appealed by some of the comments. To those who say pregnant women are not ill: in fact we often are. Morning sickness all day, dizziness, backache, among the few lovely symptoms.
However I want to point out the security issue with standing in public transport. People push you around, your belly is squeezed either against people or hard doors, walls. If the bus or train need to stop abruptly, the risk of falling or bumping belly first into something is always a major risk. Hence why I asked for a seat.
When I was pregnant I travelled a little bit later to avoid rush hour and get a seat, and also modified my travel route to avoid the tube.
I once got shouted out by a women seating in a priority seat that I should not ask women for a seat but instead to men! I got offered a seat by an elderly man while the bus was full of teenagers, I didn't take it and the teenagers proceeded to ignore us... If someone said no to me asking for a seat I would just ask someone else end of story. Don't be offended if your disabilities doesn't show.

It's a pity most people don't realise that we are not asking for anything else than for people to realise that sitting is the safer place to travel for a pregnant woman.
I'm appealed by some of the comments. To those who say pregnant women are not ill: in fact we often are. Morning sickness all day, dizziness, backache, among the few lovely symptoms. However I want to point out the security issue with standing in public transport. People push you around, your belly is squeezed either against people or hard doors, walls. If the bus or train need to stop abruptly, the risk of falling or bumping belly first into something is always a major risk. Hence why I asked for a seat. When I was pregnant I travelled a little bit later to avoid rush hour and get a seat, and also modified my travel route to avoid the tube. I once got shouted out by a women seating in a priority seat that I should not ask women for a seat but instead to men! I got offered a seat by an elderly man while the bus was full of teenagers, I didn't take it and the teenagers proceeded to ignore us... If someone said no to me asking for a seat I would just ask someone else end of story. Don't be offended if your disabilities doesn't show. It's a pity most people don't realise that we are not asking for anything else than for people to realise that sitting is the safer place to travel for a pregnant woman. Shea66
  • Score: 7

9:54am Wed 9 Apr 14

Crayman says...

I would offer my seat and I do at my choice. A lot of girls use these badges when they are barely 3/4 mths pregnant and not showing just to get a seat on a crowded train. When I was managing a team of people I'd always allow pregnant women to work at home (in the last couple of months). I don't believe in giving up my seat just because some princess has a badge on and chooses to shove it under everyones nose.
Yesterday I was on a train and some woman with crutches got on, tutted loudly at no seats around the door and then shuffled loudly to the middle of the carriage where there were empty seats. Bottom line is if you are that incapacitated you can't get a train without a big fuss then stay at home.....work at home...plenty of companies allow it, or go sick ! Your issues are not MY issues...
I would offer my seat and I do at my choice. A lot of girls use these badges when they are barely 3/4 mths pregnant and not showing just to get a seat on a crowded train. When I was managing a team of people I'd always allow pregnant women to work at home (in the last couple of months). I don't believe in giving up my seat just because some princess has a badge on and chooses to shove it under everyones nose. Yesterday I was on a train and some woman with crutches got on, tutted loudly at no seats around the door and then shuffled loudly to the middle of the carriage where there were empty seats. Bottom line is if you are that incapacitated you can't get a train without a big fuss then stay at home.....work at home...plenty of companies allow it, or go sick ! Your issues are not MY issues... Crayman
  • Score: 7

2:01pm Fri 11 Apr 14

kevint1972 says...

Did she try asking people? I commuted on the tube with a sprained knee for several months once, it was clearly painful for me to walk or stand and no one ever offered me a seat. The reasons are no one ever looks at anyone else on the tube and people who get a seat in rush hour are so grateful they are too busy thanking Jesus to think about giving it up. It's an overcrowded city, at least in part because of people from places like Hungary deciding they all want to move here.
Did she try asking people? I commuted on the tube with a sprained knee for several months once, it was clearly painful for me to walk or stand and no one ever offered me a seat. The reasons are no one ever looks at anyone else on the tube and people who get a seat in rush hour are so grateful they are too busy thanking Jesus to think about giving it up. It's an overcrowded city, at least in part because of people from places like Hungary deciding they all want to move here. kevint1972
  • Score: 1

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