Having sex in the street, urinating in gardens and attacking punters with a crutch - just a typically fun-filled night for partygoers at Sydenham's naughtiest nightspot, according to police reports.
Clubbers from Kirkdale's Zanzibar, run by born again christian John Wright, are accused of making neighbours' lives a misery for years with their boozed-up antics - laid bare in police documents ahead of a licensing review next week.
Officers say incidents outside the club included fights involving up to 50 men, sometimes armed with blades, a chain - and one incident where an assailant wielded a crutch.
Meanwhile, amorous ravers have been reported romping in cars, gardens and even porches.
In a written statement, PC Emma Sweetman said: "One resident told me how she was woken at 4am to find two people having sex against her front door."
Unlicensed chefs after a quick buck have also been reported to set up night time barbecues by the petrol station forecourt for clubbers to gorge on spicy jerk chicken before discarding the leftover carcasses in the street.
And thirsty clubbers have been known to roll out at 5am, wait until 6am for the Nisa Local shop to open and then buy more drink to continue their boozing.
PC Sweetman wrote: "One resident mentioned finding a customer's car parked on his private driveway of his house when he returned home in the early hours from the airport.
"Some residents with young children mentioned how their children have witnessed scenes outside their homes of people fighting or having sex."
Double parking has stopped neighbours getting to their cars and even prevented buses getting down the street while complaints regularly roll in about people not being able to sleep due to the noise.
Ward councillor Cllr Chris Best told News Shopper residents had reported issues since 2011. She said: "This cannot be allowed to continue and I want to see an end to the 5am licence.
"I would welcome the space as a community venue for local residents not a late night magnet that attracts anti-social behaviour from south east London."
Former licensing officer Dai Davis is being employed by Zanzibar as a consultant and said "many thousands" of people pass through the club doors without causing any disturbance.
He said: "There are at least five other licensed premises within the vicinity - some with a 24-hour licence."
The consultant said: "It's incumbent on the police to take positive action against those who break the law."Mr Davis said he had come up with some "dramatic solutions" to the problem, adding: "What's clear is some residents feel aggrieved and quite clearly Mr Wright needs to put measure in place.
"John has good Christian ethics and he's trying his best in hard economic times."
Meanwhile, Mr Wright is in discussions with Louise Brooks - who helped with the town's Portas Pilot project and community evenings at the club.
She said: "We've talked about what the venue could be and changing it so it's not attracting the same sort of crowds and becomes quite a different animal."
Ms Brooks said: "We want it to become more of a venue than a club but we want the flexibility to be able to have well-run, well-targeted late night events too."