WAKING up with a new ache or pain not related to your mattress being past its best? Spotting the odd wrinkle or two when you look in the mirror?

It might be that your care-free, wild youth is packing its bags and about to be replaced by the respectable, sensible, slipper-loving new tenant known as middle age.

Confirm whether this transformation has snuck up on you while you’ve not been paying attention by seeing if you relate to any of these 10 obvious signs you’re getting older.

  1. You start to wee when you get the opportunity, not just when you need to.
  2. You need glasses to read anything after 9pm.
  3. Then, you realise you can’t see where you’re weeing.
  4. You become more crotchety and intolerant.
  5. You realise you’re more crotchety and intolerant because you can’t see and can’t move or think as fast as you used to be able to.
  6. It goes without saying that music is too loud and you can’t understand the words.
  7. You appreciate all comfortable, warm clothing and never shut up about how comfortable and warm things are.
  8. You lose your glasses, can’t remember where you’ve left them, give up to make a cup of tea and find them in the fridge.
  9. If you don’t go to bed before 10.30pm you’re exhausted, but infuriatingly wake up every Saturday at 7am sharp.
  10. You develop a distrust of the Welsh and the French, and, most worryingly, you convince yourself this is reasonable.
  11. Your short term memory is so bad you forget this is supposed to be a list of 10 things.


Don’t despair though if these indicators are already familiar to you – age is still nothing but a number and you’re still only as old as you feel, yada yada yada.

And if you really are worried about getting on a bit there are some simple steps you can follow to show you’re still young at heart, such as driving an impractical sportscar, dressing like your children or banging on about what a huge Chase & Status fan you are – all of these things are bound to make people think you’re at least 20 years younger than you actually are.

If you can think of any other sure-fire ways to spot you’re getting older or know of any other ways to beat the dreaded onset of middle age, add your comments below.