Vibe’s heard some funny things in 2013. Now let's reflect on some of the best. Click to read them in context...

News Shopper: VIDEO: Boxer Tyson Fury talks meeting fans at Bluewater, Keston's David Haye, Ryan Gosling and fighting the UFC champion

Boxer Tyson Fury on fighting the UFC champion: “When I bite his ears off, poke his eyes out and bite his nose off you’ll see how much of an animal I am.”

News Shopper: Circus of Horrors

Circus of Horrors’ Dr Haze on sword swallowing: “It is not a pleasant trade to learn. You start by shoving a toothbrush down your throat. You have to get over your gag reflexes.”

News Shopper: Bradley Walsh set to star in Dartford pantomime

The Chase presenter and Dartford panto star Bradley Walsh on leaving Corrie: “Bill Tarmey, who played Jack Duckworth, once said to me ‘don’t let them kill you off, son. One day that could be your pension’.”

News Shopper: Jahmene Douglas,

X Factor runner up Jahmene Douglas on his favourite crisps: “I go through different flavours. This week I’ve been eating Flaming Hot Monster Munch.”

News Shopper: Showaddywaddy play St David's Hall on January 19

Showaddywaddy’s Dave Bartram on Yewtree’s effect on the 70s legacy: “It is just so sad that the minority of these egotistic bastards have led to the era becoming so maligned.”

News Shopper: Woolwich rapper Mynature goes from prison and getting shot at to rapping on the radio

Rapper Mynature on his gang life catching up with him: “I’d be cutting hair. One minute I’ve got clippers in my hand and next thing ‘BANG’, the window’s [shot] out.”

News Shopper: Greenwich bound Ali Campbell talks new music and why UB40 are 'mental cases'

Singer Ali Campbell on his former UB40 bandmates: “I think they’re mental cases.”

News Shopper: Jamie Oliver chats to Vibe about the changes at Jamie's Italian in Bluewater

Jamie Oliver disagreeing with Vibe about the Jaffa Cake being a biscuit: “It’s in a biscuit format if that makes you feel better.”

News Shopper: Comedian Josie Long talks to Vibe ahead of Greenwich Comedy Festival show

Comedian Josie Long on News Shopper: “It was always a big deal. If you live in Orpington, there’s a chance you’re going to get in News Shopper.”

News Shopper: Comedian Mark Watson talks Greenwich Comedy Festival, living in New Cross, Twitter and Jaffacakes

Comedian Mark Watson debating when is it too late for the ice cream van to still be coming round: “I would say Halloween signals the end of the ice cream season unless you are really hardcore about it.”

News Shopper: Oxford bound: Charlotte Devaney

Model-turned-DJ-turned-actress Charlotte Devaney on winning a role in How to Lose Friends and Alienate People: “Originally they were looking for a transvestite but they couldn’t find one that could act and look right.”

News Shopper: Revealing himself -  Canadian comic Stewart Francis

Stewart Francis on his Lumberjacks show with Craig Campbell and Glenn Wool in Dartford: “If you don’t like one of use then it is you, not us.”

News Shopper: Rob Beckett Live

I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here Now presenter and comic from Mottingham, Rob Beckett: “I’m an adult but I shouldn’t be really. I’m doing things that I should not be in charge of but there’s no one else to do them.”

News Shopper: Magic man - Paul Daniels

Paul Daniels on being hospitalised by a pizza thrown by Sooty: “I was hospitalised for about three minutes while they took a bit of pizza out of my eye.”

News Shopper: 'Singles are like a leaflet': Lee Ryan talks Blue's new music and growing up in Plumstead

Lee from Blue on his favourite place for a gig: “I don’t mind really, as long as there are fans. Otherwise I’ll be playing to a mirror.”

News Shopper: Back on terra firmer: Lethal Bizzle and Vibe reporter Jim Palmer

Lethal Bizzle on getting back together with More Fire Crew: “It’s something I would definitely want to look into. There might be a record in the pipeline.”

News Shopper: Comedian Lucy Porter looking forward to Bluewater gig

Comedian Lucy Porter on a different kind of gig at Bluewater shopping centre: “It would be quite good fun – to surprise people in the changing room, pop in and tell them a joke while they’re trying on a swimsuit.”

News Shopper: Hollywood designer to the stars Martyn Lawrence Bullard learnt his trade in Bromley

Interior designer to the stars, Martyn Lawrence Bullard: “Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne are like my family. I go on vacation a lot with Elton and David, I spend Christmas at Cher’s house.”

News Shopper: Honor Oak juggling whizz Mat Ricardo brings variety to Leicester Square Theatre

Honor Oak cabaret star Mat Ricardo on juggling knives: “It was the singlemost terrifying thing I have done. When I did it for the first time on stage I was literally shaking. It was great.”

News Shopper: The Saturdays

The Saturdays’ Frankie Sandford: “We love our jobs and we don’t want to choose family or work. We want to do both.”

News Shopper: Made in Chelsea's Jamie Laing to sign copies of new book at Bluewater

Made in Chelsea’s Jamie Laing on his Candy Kittens brand: “I love sweets, I love fashion, I love girls so I put them together into a business and that’s how Candy Kittens was born.”