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PubSpy reviews The Pembroke, Gravesend
OVER 18s only and Smart Casual Dress only, the two bold signs on the door say.
So central to The Pembroke's raison d'etre are these rules that the signs are made from what looks like brass. Strong and permanent.
But stone me if there wasn't a bleeding child behind the bar.
How did you get in here nipper? And while we're at it, you're more smart than smart casual.
And everyone else in here is significantly more casual than smart casual. Am I the only one obeying the signs?
I don't know if you've ever read Danny Wallace's Yes Man, but this kid was not a Yes Man.
He neither said yes, nor was he a man.
No Grolsch, no Carling - not that I asked for the latter, if I am ever forced to drink micturition I'd prefer to know the source.
What on earth do you think the pictures on the taps are for sunbeam? They certainly are not art.
I paid £3.55 for a Magners Golden Draught - mildly insulting for a big chain pub in Gravesend - and trudged across a grotty, chewing gum-scarred carpet to a booth with scratched and worn leather seats.
At first glance this pub looks spacious and sophisticated. First impressions can be deceiving.
Deeper investigation reveals a characterless sub-Wetherspoons dive where you are more likely to see a urinal cake-blue WKD resting on a table than a decent ale.
There were about half a dozen punters called Gazza or Steve or something - all of whom appeared to be keeping the High Street's Sports Direct in business - but little in the way of atmosphere.
Perhaps management should replace the prohibitive plaques on the door - No Under 18s, Smart Casual Dress Only, No Point Coming In.
The Pembroke, King Street, Gravesend
How it rated:
Decor *** Adequate but flat
Drinks* Even the lagers were out
Price** Not cheap for a cheap chain
Staff ** Will be a decent barman when he grows up
Atmosphere * Not even Gazza and Stevo appeared to enjoy it
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