“The last time I had a date was nine years ago,” Sam told me.

You may not be surprised to hear that during my life as London’s dating coach I hear that a lot.

Not just a dry spell of a couple of weeks, or months, but years.

What’s even crazier than that is often the reason for these dry spells is because you’re holding out for someone.

Waiting for the right moment to tell your best friend that you’ve loved them all along.

Waiting for some proper alone time with the woman you work with to ask her out.

Waiting for the guy you see every week at Costa to ask you out…

All in all it’s a lot of waiting and worrying. I’m a huge believer that waiting is boring.

We wait because we’re not sure what the outcome will be; which more often than not means there’s no outcome full stop.

What’s so much smarter than that? Being ok to get an answer.

Taking back the control of your future happiness to where it belongs with you.

Accepting that if you don’t get the response you want it means that there will be someone else who gets how wonderful you are. Understanding that it’s better to know where you stand, than sitting on the sidelines waiting to be chosen…only to wind up left on the shelf.

Hayley Quinn is a leading london dating coach. See what she does at hayleyquinn.com or get in touch with her at Hayley@hayleyquinn.com

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