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Protest at ‘Bart’ headstone plan
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| Charlie Morettes |
THE parents of a pupil who died while playing rounders at his school want to put up a headstone on his grave of his favourite cartoon character, Bart Simpson.
Charlie Morettes, eight, died due to sudden death syndrome in May last year.
His mum Allison and stepfather Tony Spalding, however, are being frustrated by opposition to putting up the 21in granite model of The Simpsons character in the graveyard at St
John the Baptist Church, Sutton-at-Hone.
Mrs Spalding, 33, of Cedar Drive, Sutton-at-Hone, said: "It is what Charlie would have wanted. He was so full of life, like Bart Simpson, so it is a fitting memorial."
Permission to put up the headstone was needed from Sutton-at-Hone and Hawley Parish Council, which owns the graveyard.
But at a meeting of the parish council on April 17, one councillor voted against the memorial.
This led to a consultation with residents being held, at which four written objections were submitted.
Mrs Spalding believes the people who objected have misunderstood her intentions.
She said: "People seem to think the memorial will be bright yellow and garish, but actually it will be the same granite colour as the headstone.
"We're not trying to be disruptive or sacrilegious, we just want to do something to reflect our son's character.
"The objections are very frustrating."
Mrs Spalding says it was decided to have Charlie buried at the church because the family are members and he loved going there.
She also claims the church uses a Simpsons-themed book commissioned by the Church of England in its Sunday school sessions.
Mrs Spalding, who has two daughters, one aged five and the other 10 months, says this shows the objectors to the headstone are being
hypocritical.
The parish council's consultation period ended on Friday and a decision on the headstone will be made at a meeting on May 13 or June 19.
Council chairman Councillor Chris Armstrong said: "This is an emotionally charged issue which has placed the parish council in a very difficult position, with an extremely hard decision to make."
He added: "Some people feel it's not appropriate for consecrated ground in a churchyard."
9:00am Monday 5th May 2008
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CommentPosted by: gone4good, surrey on 9:34am Mon 5 May 08
Nearly every one love the simpsons its crosses many barriers without upsetting any one . I feel this is a great idea. It would make people smile but also remember the dearly departed. Hope you get your way and may God be with you and your sadly departed Son.
Nearly every one love the simpsons its crosses many barriers without upsetting any one . I feel this is a great idea. It would make people smile but also remember the dearly departed. Hope you get your way and may God be with you and your sadly departed Son.
Posted by: Mandy, gravesend on 2:34pm Mon 5 May 08
As a practising Christian, I find this disgusting that this family is not allowed to use this memorial to their precious son!! In a world where families are moving away from church life, this sort of thing does nothing to encourage people into faith. When I visit graveyards, the graves are covered in all sorts of photos, teddies and other things... nobody objects, it is so personal. Do the parish council honestly believe that God would mind what this family use as a headstone?? How utterly ridiculous!! He loves that family and child and would want their pain eased...whatever it takes. Some petty minded official with nothing better to do has decided to be difficult! How shameful, I hope they NEVER have to be in a position to even be considering what gravestone to use for their child. I am so sorry for this family. I hope that they get their wish for their little boy. Some people get a little power and abuse it. Shame on them!
As a practising Christian, I find this disgusting that this family is not allowed to use this memorial to their precious son!! In a world where families are moving away from church life, this sort of thing does nothing to encourage people into faith. When I visit graveyards, the graves are covered in all sorts of photos, teddies and other things... nobody objects, it is so personal. Do the parish council honestly believe that God would mind what this family use as a headstone?? How utterly ridiculous!! He loves that family and child and would want their pain eased...whatever it takes. Some petty minded official with nothing better to do has decided to be difficult! How shameful, I hope they NEVER have to be in a position to even be considering what gravestone to use for their child. I am so sorry for this family. I hope that they get their wish for their little boy. Some people get a little power and abuse it. Shame on them!
Posted by: theword, here and there on 3:25pm Mon 5 May 08
Sutton-at-Hone and Hawley Parish Council?
DOH!
Sutton-at-Hone and Hawley Parish Council?
DOH!
Posted by: Dom, Kidbrooke on 4:20pm Mon 5 May 08
Charlie was their son! They should be able to put up what they want. They have already suffered enough with the tragic death of this young eight year old. Let the family put it up if that's what the lad would have wanted! He was nobody's son but the family's. It's none of the council's or residents business what headstone the family put up. Jobsworths!
Charlie was their son! They should be able to put up what they want. They have already suffered enough with the tragic death of this young eight year old. Let the family put it up if that's what the lad would have wanted! He was nobody's son but the family's. It's none of the council's or residents business what headstone the family put up. Jobsworths!
Posted by: Me on 6:29pm Mon 5 May 08
[quote][bold]Mandy[/bold] wrote:
As a practising Christian, I find this disgusting that this family is not allowed to use this memorial to their precious son!! In a world where families are moving away from church life, this sort of thing does nothing to encourage people into faith. When I visit graveyards, the graves are covered in all sorts of photos, teddies and other things... nobody objects, it is so personal. Do the parish council honestly believe that God would mind what this family use as a headstone?? How utterly ridiculous!! He loves that family and child and would want their pain eased...whatever it takes. Some petty minded official with nothing better to do has decided to be difficult! How shameful, I hope they NEVER have to be in a position to even be considering what gravestone to use for their child. I am so sorry for this family. I hope that they get their wish for their little boy. Some people get a little power and abuse it. Shame on them![/quote] Well said Mandy.
Too many Councils are stopping things from being left at gravesides and this "Bart" is only 21in tall for goodness sake !
I also, as a Christian, agree that God wouldn't mind what it put on a grave.
I hope this Family win their battle, they must not give up.
Mandy wrote:
As a practising Christian, I find this disgusting that this family is not allowed to use this memorial to their precious son!! In a world where families are moving away from church life, this sort of thing does nothing to encourage people into faith. When I visit graveyards, the graves are covered in all sorts of photos, teddies and other things... nobody objects, it is so personal. Do the parish council honestly believe that God would mind what this family use as a headstone?? How utterly ridiculous!! He loves that family and child and would want their pain eased...whatever it takes. Some petty minded official with nothing better to do has decided to be difficult! How shameful, I hope they NEVER have to be in a position to even be considering what gravestone to use for their child. I am so sorry for this family. I hope that they get their wish for their little boy. Some people get a little power and abuse it. Shame on them!
Well said Mandy.
Too many Councils are stopping things from being left at gravesides and this "Bart" is only 21in tall for goodness sake !
I also, as a Christian, agree that God wouldn't mind what it put on a grave.
I hope this Family win their battle, they must not give up.
Posted by: Sad, Kent on 8:41pm Mon 5 May 08
This is disgusting!! When you loss someone and you choose to have them buried you buy a plot of land and that land belongs to you. I think within reason you should be able to do what you want with your land after all it is yours only the grass around it belongs to the Council. I know most graveyards want let you have a stone over 3 ft high but how can they not let you have a Bart headstone that is unbelievable.
I say this to the parents of this darling little boy you keep up your fight, don’t give up! Good luck
This is disgusting!! When you loss someone and you choose to have them buried you buy a plot of land and that land belongs to you. I think within reason you should be able to do what you want with your land after all it is yours only the grass around it belongs to the Council. I know most graveyards want let you have a stone over 3 ft high but how can they not let you have a Bart headstone that is unbelievable.
I say this to the parents of this darling little boy you keep up your fight, don’t give up! Good luck
Posted by: Ellie, Kent on 9:04pm Mon 5 May 08
Just do it! What will they do? Remove it? That's desecration isn't it?
Haven't these people got more important decisions to make in their sorry lives instead of exacerbating other peoples misery?
Be strong! Fight your corner and don't give quarter to these pompous Christ haters! The church has a lot to answer for, not least their hypocrisy!!!!!!
Just do it! What will they do? Remove it? That's desecration isn't it?
Haven't these people got more important decisions to make in their sorry lives instead of exacerbating other peoples misery?
Be strong! Fight your corner and don't give quarter to these pompous Christ haters! The church has a lot to answer for, not least their hypocrisy!!!!!!
Posted by: A Mum, Dartford on 10:45am Tue 6 May 08
To that one councillor,
Get a life. You should be ashamed of yourself. Losing a child is the worst nightmare for any parent. If this gives them comfort who are you to take that away from them. All I can say is you are a very wicked and evil person.
To that one councillor,
Get a life. You should be ashamed of yourself. Losing a child is the worst nightmare for any parent. If this gives them comfort who are you to take that away from them. All I can say is you are a very wicked and evil person.
Posted by: Lizzielooloo on 11:24am Tue 6 May 08
OK I can understand this is a church yard etc etc etc, but for Heavens sake, this is a Child’s grave we are speaking about. From what the parents are saying it is not going to be garish or anything like that, so why can’t they just let them have this memorial.
What a mean spirited bunch of people the Parish Councillors are (I would like to say worse than that).
I hope this article drums up lots of support for the parents and the Councillors will reverse their decision.
OK I can understand this is a church yard etc etc etc, but for Heavens sake, this is a Child’s grave we are speaking about. From what the parents are saying it is not going to be garish or anything like that, so why can’t they just let them have this memorial.
What a mean spirited bunch of people the Parish Councillors are (I would like to say worse than that).
I hope this article drums up lots of support for the parents and the Councillors will reverse their decision.
Posted by: Losing Grey Cells, Sidcup on 12:20pm Tue 6 May 08
I suspect those 4 written objections came from the household of the one councillor! The council should immediately agree to the headstone and offer to pay for it by way of an apology for putting this family through even more pain.
I suspect those 4 written objections came from the household of the one councillor! The council should immediately agree to the headstone and offer to pay for it by way of an apology for putting this family through even more pain.
Posted by: Nick, Dartford on 2:50pm Tue 6 May 08
I expect this individual will quite happily tell you how much of great Christian he/she is and make a big show of it on church at Sunday. But frankly what they have done is the total opposite to a Christian ethic and, as a member of the Parish Council, they should be ashamed of themselves. In fact the whole of the Parish Council should be ashamed that they may even allow this matter to drag on until sometime in June. Perhaps the Parish Council Will be brave enough to add their own comments and explain their reasoning....?
I expect this individual will quite happily tell you how much of great Christian he/she is and make a big show of it on church at Sunday. But frankly what they have done is the total opposite to a Christian ethic and, as a member of the Parish Council, they should be ashamed of themselves. In fact the whole of the Parish Council should be ashamed that they may even allow this matter to drag on until sometime in June. Perhaps the Parish Council Will be brave enough to add their own comments and explain their reasoning....?
Posted by: Lizzielooloo on 2:53pm Tue 6 May 08
[quote][bold]Nick[/bold] wrote:
I expect this individual will quite happily tell you how much of great Christian he/she is and make a big show of it on church at Sunday. But frankly what they have done is the total opposite to a Christian ethic and, as a member of the Parish Council, they should be ashamed of themselves. In fact the whole of the Parish Council should be ashamed that they may even allow this matter to drag on until sometime in June. Perhaps the Parish Council Will be brave enough to add their own comments and explain their reasoning....?[/quote] Well said Nick.
Nick wrote:
I expect this individual will quite happily tell you how much of great Christian he/she is and make a big show of it on church at Sunday. But frankly what they have done is the total opposite to a Christian ethic and, as a member of the Parish Council, they should be ashamed of themselves. In fact the whole of the Parish Council should be ashamed that they may even allow this matter to drag on until sometime in June. Perhaps the Parish Council Will be brave enough to add their own comments and explain their reasoning....?
Well said Nick.
Posted by: dave, dartford on 11:51pm Tue 6 May 08
We all feel that Tony and Allison should be allowed to have the head stone. It is not garish as allison stated and wil not look out of place.
We feel very disapointed that the parish council have objected to this very strong and emotional matter. Do they not realise the loss of their son charlie is undiscribable and the local parish council should be helping the local families and not hindering them.
(I would like to write a lot stronger message than this but fear that it would not be printed)
Be strong allison & tony all our love.
Dave & lynne
We all feel that Tony and Allison should be allowed to have the head stone. It is not garish as allison stated and wil not look out of place.
We feel very disapointed that the parish council have objected to this very strong and emotional matter. Do they not realise the loss of their son charlie is undiscribable and the local parish council should be helping the local families and not hindering them.
(I would like to write a lot stronger message than this but fear that it would not be printed)
Be strong allison & tony all our love.
Dave & lynne
Posted by: Michelle on 12:14am Wed 7 May 08
WHO DO WE WRITE TO ?
If enough people wrote and said how disgusted they were maybe it might help ?
WHO DO WE WRITE TO ?
If enough people wrote and said how disgusted they were maybe it might help ?
Posted by: sandra, dartford on 10:20am Wed 7 May 08
I see know reason why a small tasteful statue of Charlie's favourite charater should not be placed on his gravestone by his devoted parents for a loved son.
I see know reason why a small tasteful statue of Charlie's favourite charater should not be placed on his gravestone by his devoted parents for a loved son.
Posted by: Lizzielooloo on 10:49am Wed 7 May 08
[quote][bold]sandra[/bold] wrote:
I see know reason why a small tasteful statue of Charlie's favourite charater should not be placed on his gravestone by his devoted parents for a loved son. [/quote] There is no reason Sandra, it is just these people being well.... completely un-Christian (this is not what i really want to put!). I see no one from the Paris Council or the Church have commented on this story. I do hope someone sees sense and finally lets the parents go ahead with this.
sandra wrote:
I see know reason why a small tasteful statue of Charlie's favourite charater should not be placed on his gravestone by his devoted parents for a loved son.
There is no reason Sandra, it is just these people being well.... completely un-Christian (this is not what i really want to put!). I see no one from the Paris Council or the Church have commented on this story. I do hope someone sees sense and finally lets the parents go ahead with this.
Posted by: julie & pete, hawley on 11:02am Wed 7 May 08
Words cannot say how bad this is and the parish council person is a jobs worth. I hope that person finds it hard to sleep at night. God is with you all and you will get your wish for charlie im sure. So horrid that you all thrown into this when all you need is some peace.
It is just disgusting.
Words cannot say how bad this is and the parish council person is a jobs worth. I hope that person finds it hard to sleep at night. God is with you all and you will get your wish for charlie im sure. So horrid that you all thrown into this when all you need is some peace.
It is just disgusting.
Posted by: Bob, Gravesend on 11:39am Wed 7 May 08
I'm a big Jordan fan. Can I have her image on my gravestone?
I'm a big Jordan fan. Can I have her image on my gravestone?
Posted by: Trevor, surrey on 2:22pm Wed 7 May 08
I cannot beleive the parish council are holding this up, what a bunch of Jobsworths, oh and Bob from Gravesend get out more this is a very frustrating and sad story of a tragic boy not for idiots to make a joke of.
I cannot beleive the parish council are holding this up, what a bunch of Jobsworths, oh and Bob from Gravesend get out more this is a very frustrating and sad story of a tragic boy not for idiots to make a joke of.
Posted by: Kelly, Dartford on 2:32pm Wed 7 May 08
Chris Armstrong should be removed from the Parish Council for being so weak who cares if some people have complained i think its fantastic to put a statue of Bart in the church its what children like and lets not forget [bold]Charlie was a child[/bold] .
Chris Armstrong should be removed from the Parish Council for being so weak who cares if some people have complained i think its fantastic to put a statue of Bart in the church its what children like and lets not forget
Charlie was a child .
Posted by: Linda, Longfield on 4:16pm Wed 7 May 08
It seems that many parish councils object to anything apart from the norm.
At Longfield Church I believe they object to the following.
1, silk flowers
2, any surround around a grave
3, headstones, no marble books,no pictures of the deceased and nothing but a plain white headstone.
4, No artificial wreaths.
In fact even though youn pay at great cost for a plot you are only allowed to place something at the head.
Bart Simpson- Not a chance !!
It seems that many parish councils object to anything apart from the norm.
At Longfield Church I believe they object to the following.
1, silk flowers
2, any surround around a grave
3, headstones, no marble books,no pictures of the deceased and nothing but a plain white headstone.
4, No artificial wreaths.
In fact even though youn pay at great cost for a plot you are only allowed to place something at the head.
Bart Simpson- Not a chance !!
Posted by: Lizzielooloo on 4:40pm Wed 7 May 08
[quote][bold]Linda[/bold] wrote:
It seems that many parish councils object to anything apart from the norm. At Longfield Church I believe they object to the following. 1, silk flowers 2, any surround around a grave 3, headstones, no marble books,no pictures of the deceased and nothing but a plain white headstone. 4, No artificial wreaths. In fact even though youn pay at great cost for a plot you are only allowed to place something at the head. Bart Simpson- Not a chance !![/quote] Gosh where do these so called “Good Christian” people get off!
Not allowed silk flowers! How ridiculous Linda is that. Luckily my dad was cremated and he is in the Albin Memorial Garden in Bermondsey. They actually allow you there to put almost anything down, the only thing they say is obviously if cards or flowers become bedraggled they will remove them, only to keep the garden looking nice. Although my mum visits my dad regularly fresh flowers do not tend to keep looking “fresh” for long, so like many others my mum has placed some really nice tasteful silk flowers to keep the grave looking nice.
Who are these people! I love the way not one of the Parish Council has seen fit to comment on this story.
I know a lot of people get a lot of peace and comfort by visiting a grave, and for these parents that is what they should be doing not arguing with these stupid people about this headstone. I’m just shaking my head, I really really hope someone finally sees sense and finally lets the parents have the fitting memorial for their young son.
I think they can see everyone is in support of them (and I hope this restores their faith in human nature), and maybe a petition or something can be started?
Linda wrote:
It seems that many parish councils object to anything apart from the norm. At Longfield Church I believe they object to the following. 1, silk flowers 2, any surround around a grave 3, headstones, no marble books,no pictures of the deceased and nothing but a plain white headstone. 4, No artificial wreaths. In fact even though youn pay at great cost for a plot you are only allowed to place something at the head. Bart Simpson- Not a chance !!
Gosh where do these so called “Good Christian” people get off!
Not allowed silk flowers! How ridiculous Linda is that. Luckily my dad was cremated and he is in the Albin Memorial Garden in Bermondsey. They actually allow you there to put almost anything down, the only thing they say is obviously if cards or flowers become bedraggled they will remove them, only to keep the garden looking nice. Although my mum visits my dad regularly fresh flowers do not tend to keep looking “fresh” for long, so like many others my mum has placed some really nice tasteful silk flowers to keep the grave looking nice.
Who are these people! I love the way not one of the Parish Council has seen fit to comment on this story.
I know a lot of people get a lot of peace and comfort by visiting a grave, and for these parents that is what they should be doing not arguing with these stupid people about this headstone. I’m just shaking my head, I really really hope someone finally sees sense and finally lets the parents have the fitting memorial for their young son.
I think they can see everyone is in support of them (and I hope this restores their faith in human nature), and maybe a petition or something can be started?
Posted by: Tracy, Swanley on 6:18pm Wed 7 May 08
I really am finding it hard to believe that this so called councillor, who is there for his/her community has objected to this? Disgust and anger are just two words to describe it. If this person is so objectional why have they not come forward with their reasons? I for one would be very interested to know the thinking behind denying a family the right to have a fitting memorial to their son. It sounds like it will be very tastefully done, and with the knowledge I have of the bible I have no recollection of God being offended by something which brings joy to children? My advice to the council would be to override this buffoon and let Allison and Tony remember Charlie as they want to!
I really am finding it hard to believe that this so called councillor, who is there for his/her community has objected to this? Disgust and anger are just two words to describe it. If this person is so objectional why have they not come forward with their reasons? I for one would be very interested to know the thinking behind denying a family the right to have a fitting memorial to their son. It sounds like it will be very tastefully done, and with the knowledge I have of the bible I have no recollection of God being offended by something which brings joy to children? My advice to the council would be to override this buffoon and let Allison and Tony remember Charlie as they want to!
Posted by: Ives, carricfergus,n.irela
nd on 9:01pm Wed 7 May 08
Our grandson also likes the simsons. Cannot people just see how simple it would be to let this request be allowed. Its a simple thing. I'm sure that there are some old afshioned grave stone with afull (Ugly) looking images(Frighting looking in some cases) that are visuly far worse than the one wanted by Charlies parents . one wonders as to the people who object, they obviously are very sad people indeed [bold]bold[/bold]
Our grandson also likes the simsons. Cannot people just see how simple it would be to let this request be allowed. Its a simple thing. I'm sure that there are some old afshioned grave stone with afull (Ugly) looking images(Frighting looking in some cases) that are visuly far worse than the one wanted by Charlies parents . one wonders as to the people who object, they obviously are very sad people indeed
Posted by: Colin Osborne, South Darenth on 12:24am Thu 8 May 08
No wonder the church is losing Parishoners when you have people who stop parents putting a headstone of their childs grave.it is not like its bright yellow .It is a symbol of their love for the boy who they will never see again. SUTTON AT HONE AND HAWLEY PARISH HOLD YOUR HEAD IN SHAME
PERHAPS YOU SHOULD GO TO CONFESSIONALS AND TELL GOD YOU HAVE SINNED.
No wonder the church is losing Parishoners when you have people who stop parents putting a headstone of their childs grave.it is not like its bright yellow .It is a symbol of their love for the boy who they will never see again. SUTTON AT HONE AND HAWLEY PARISH HOLD YOUR HEAD IN SHAME
PERHAPS YOU SHOULD GO TO CONFESSIONALS AND TELL GOD YOU HAVE SINNED.
Posted by: Monica, Bexleyheath on 3:29pm Thu 8 May 08
Sutton-a-Hone and Hawley Parish Council how can you sleep at night? Shame on you! The comments above reflect people's opinions. Haven't these parents suffered enough?! For goodness sake let them do this one last thing for their son!
Sutton-a-Hone and Hawley Parish Council how can you sleep at night? Shame on you! The comments above reflect people's opinions. Haven't these parents suffered enough?! For goodness sake let them do this one last thing for their son!
Posted by: Carol, Wilmington on 3:44pm Thu 8 May 08
Like many other people I am sure, I always get very upset when I see a baby or a child's grave - it seems such a tragic waste of a young life. Therefore surely if the headstone is more light-hearted to reflect the nature of that loved one, in order to bring a smile to someone's face, this can only help relieve the loss felt by the family left behind and other people who visit the grave, and leave them with brighter memories of what they have seen.
Like many other people I am sure, I always get very upset when I see a baby or a child's grave - it seems such a tragic waste of a young life. Therefore surely if the headstone is more light-hearted to reflect the nature of that loved one, in order to bring a smile to someone's face, this can only help relieve the loss felt by the family left behind and other people who visit the grave, and leave them with brighter memories of what they have seen.
Posted by: Sunny, London on 4:22pm Thu 8 May 08
It would only be vandalised because of its originality. That would be more distressing for the parents.
It would only be vandalised because of its originality. That would be more distressing for the parents.
Posted by: Katie, Brands Hatch on 9:53pm Thu 8 May 08
Allison & Tony should be given the right to have any headstone that they want for there son. Charlie was a fun loving child and if Bart Simpson was what he would want then no one has the right to take that away from them. How would the councillor feel if it was him and his family going through this ordeal to give a member of his family a resting place that they would of wanted? How can anyone have the right to tell Allison & Tony what they can do for Charlie.
Allison & Tony should be given the right to have any headstone that they want for there son. Charlie was a fun loving child and if Bart Simpson was what he would want then no one has the right to take that away from them. How would the councillor feel if it was him and his family going through this ordeal to give a member of his family a resting place that they would of wanted? How can anyone have the right to tell Allison & Tony what they can do for Charlie.
Posted by: Karen, Derby on 11:59pm Thu 8 May 08
Allison and Tony should be able celebrate Charlie's life in the way they feel appropriate. They have felt such pain over the last year, touched the whole community far and wide. All who knew Charlie have found it difficult. The objecting counselor for one moment should put themselves in the shoes of Allison and Tony. As a mother I know that I can not. We continue to celebrate Charlie's far too short life and raise awareness and hope to save other lives. Whilst mindless people have been elected to make decisions on such personal matters. No one understands but Allie and Tony. Let their son rest in peace and Charlie's family and friends remember him how his Mum and Dad wished. Please let a Mum do this for her son, I would do anything for my children.
Allison and Tony should be able celebrate Charlie's life in the way they feel appropriate. They have felt such pain over the last year, touched the whole community far and wide. All who knew Charlie have found it difficult. The objecting counselor for one moment should put themselves in the shoes of Allison and Tony. As a mother I know that I can not. We continue to celebrate Charlie's far too short life and raise awareness and hope to save other lives. Whilst mindless people have been elected to make decisions on such personal matters. No one understands but Allie and Tony. Let their son rest in peace and Charlie's family and friends remember him how his Mum and Dad wished. Please let a Mum do this for her son, I would do anything for my children.
Posted by: Keith, Harlow on 1:53pm Fri 9 May 08
The council have got this decision wrong. This is a childs grave, and if a stone bart would stand out a bit different in the graveyard, then i think perhaps thats ok, for children aren't supposed to die. The fact that the statue will be the same granite colour as the headstone, made me finally side with the parents on this.
The council have got this decision wrong. This is a childs grave, and if a stone bart would stand out a bit different in the graveyard, then i think perhaps thats ok, for children aren't supposed to die. The fact that the statue will be the same granite colour as the headstone, made me finally side with the parents on this.
Posted by: Lizzielooloo on 3:44pm Fri 9 May 08
Apparently this story was on BBC Local news the other night, lets hope this drums up even more support.
I hope that Mr and Mrs Spalding are reading these comments and realise how much support they have over this.
Apparently this story was on BBC Local news the other night, lets hope this drums up even more support.
I hope that Mr and Mrs Spalding are reading these comments and realise how much support they have over this.
Posted by: Tony Spalding, Sutton at Hone on 4:22pm Fri 9 May 08
Thank you far all your kind words and encouragement We do keep an eye on this site and it is nice to see the support we have.
We are still fighting this and will keep on until we win although why the parish council could not just allow it is a mystery to me. I must state that this is a Parish council decision and not the church which is a shame as the church have given us full backing and would like to bless the headstone when it is installed.
We did not want this dragged through the press especially on the anniversary of Charlie death but this story has made it to the press due to one of the parish council members [bold]Stephen Dewinton[/bold] who not only was against allowing the headstone but also gave the story to the Kent Messenger even after we asked them to keep this out of the press.
If anyone does want to contact the council visit their website to leave a message or write to Katherine Gale.
www.sutton-at-honepc
.kentparishes.gov.uk
Thanks again for all your support
Tony & Allison
Thank you far all your kind words and encouragement We do keep an eye on this site and it is nice to see the support we have.
We are still fighting this and will keep on until we win although why the parish council could not just allow it is a mystery to me. I must state that this is a Parish council decision and not the church which is a shame as the church have given us full backing and would like to bless the headstone when it is installed.
We did not want this dragged through the press especially on the anniversary of Charlie death but this story has made it to the press due to one of the parish council members
Stephen Dewinton who not only was against allowing the headstone but also gave the story to the Kent Messenger even after we asked them to keep this out of the press.
If anyone does want to contact the council visit their website to leave a message or write to Katherine Gale.
www.sutton-at-honepc
.kentparishes.gov.uk
Thanks again for all your support
Tony & Allison
Posted by: vern, west wickham on 9:55am Sat 10 May 08
[quote][bold]Bob[/bold] wrote:
I'm a big Jordan fan. Can I have her image on my gravestone?[/quote] [bold]This is what I call the "Traffic Warden" effect.
ie a group of people - in this case the objectors to the headstone - who in their normal lives are usually of below average intelligence,no personality,little common sense and probably a repressed upbringing - then they are granted a little bit of power in this case their right of objection. They then get off on being able to exert that power on Normal people. They always result to "is my job/more than my jobsworth" when asked to explain their decision/action as they are not blessed with a creative brain.
[/bold]
Bob wrote:
I'm a big Jordan fan. Can I have her image on my gravestone?
This is what I call the "Traffic Warden" effect.
ie a group of people - in this case the objectors to the headstone - who in their normal lives are usually of below average intelligence,no personality,little common sense and probably a repressed upbringing - then they are granted a little bit of power in this case their right of objection. They then get off on being able to exert that power on Normal people. They always result to "is my job/more than my jobsworth" when asked to explain their decision/action as they are not blessed with a creative brain.
Posted by: Lizzielooloo on 3:43pm Mon 12 May 08
[quote][bold]Tony Spalding[/bold] wrote:
Thank you far all your kind words and encouragement We do keep an eye on this site and it is nice to see the support we have. We are still fighting this and will keep on until we win although why the parish council could not just allow it is a mystery to me. I must state that this is a Parish council decision and not the church which is a shame as the church have given us full backing and would like to bless the headstone when it is installed. We did not want this dragged through the press especially on the anniversary of Charlie death but this story has made it to the press due to one of the parish council members [bold]Stephen Dewinton[/bold] who not only was against allowing the headstone but also gave the story to the Kent Messenger even after we asked them to keep this out of the press. If anyone does want to contact the council visit their website to leave a message or write to Katherine Gale. www.sutton-at-honepc .kentparishes.gov.uk Thanks again for all your support Tony & Allison[/quote] Thank you so much for adding this comment.
I am so sorry that you are having to go through all of this, esp as it is coming up to Charlie's anniversary.
Please be assured that there are many people out here ready to support you and these people really should be ashamed of themselves (and still not one of them have seen fit to leave a comment). I am glad you also have the support of your church in all this.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Tony Spalding wrote:
Thank you far all your kind words and encouragement We do keep an eye on this site and it is nice to see the support we have. We are still fighting this and will keep on until we win although why the parish council could not just allow it is a mystery to me. I must state that this is a Parish council decision and not the church which is a shame as the church have given us full backing and would like to bless the headstone when it is installed. We did not want this dragged through the press especially on the anniversary of Charlie death but this story has made it to the press due to one of the parish council members Stephen Dewinton who not only was against allowing the headstone but also gave the story to the Kent Messenger even after we asked them to keep this out of the press. If anyone does want to contact the council visit their website to leave a message or write to Katherine Gale. www.sutton-at-honepc .kentparishes.gov.uk Thanks again for all your support Tony & Allison
Thank you so much for adding this comment.
I am so sorry that you are having to go through all of this, esp as it is coming up to Charlie's anniversary.
Please be assured that there are many people out here ready to support you and these people really should be ashamed of themselves (and still not one of them have seen fit to leave a comment). I am glad you also have the support of your church in all this.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Posted by: Dawn Watson, Snodland on 3:08pm Tue 13 May 08
This is just utter nonsense on the part of some narrow-minded and very un-christian bureaucrats.
Parents who suffer such a tragic loss should be allowed to demonstrate their love in a manner fitting to themselves. If the church has no objection what gives anyone else the right to dictate how they remember him.
This is just utter nonsense on the part of some narrow-minded and very un-christian bureaucrats.
Parents who suffer such a tragic loss should be allowed to demonstrate their love in a manner fitting to themselves. If the church has no objection what gives anyone else the right to dictate how they remember him.
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