Euro 2016 is just around the corner now, offering a feast of football for fans or a month of misery for non-fans.
Wherever you interest lies, these 18 things are guaranteed to happen in the next few weeks.
1. Every office will run a sweepstake
Whoever gets France should be nominated tea-maker for a week. And nobody will want England despite the bravado
2. People who know nothing about football will suddenly become experts on whether Wayne Rooney should play in midfield or up front
3. The Daily Mail will start publishing photos of WAGs and comparing them with Victoria Beckham and Cheryl
(Ah, naughties fashion.)
4. Becks will make an appearance on the BBC
and it will spark days of newspaper stories about his hair
5. Somebody will start a version of the 'Will Grigg's on fire' song for Rooney or Vardy and you'll have it stuck in your head for the whole summer
6. Speaking of songs, you'll be hoping to hear 'Jamie Vardy's having a party' a great deal
(but not looking forward to explaining the rest of the words to your young children)
7. Whether you were born in England or Wales will suddenly become extraordinarily important for a couple of hours on June 16
And Robbie Savage will be insufferable if Wales win.
8. Every person in the pub will think they know better than Roy Hodgson
9. Because it's 20 years since Euro 96, Paul Gascoigne will get mentioned often (probably for this goal)
10. People not interested in football will go to the supermarket when the matches are on (trust us, it’s bliss)
11. And they'll complain a lot about Corrie not being on when it's supposed to
12. But when the games are on during the day, everyone will be crowded round that one screen in the office that has it on
13. Those car and house flags will start appearing
14. Everyone will gripe about the England kit
Especially the socks.
15. England will win a couple of games and people will start playing Three Lions EVERYWHERE you go
16. Everyone will underplay England's chances for the first week, then the dam will burst and we'll all become convinced we can win
It's coming home, it's coming home
17. Then England will face Germany in a penalty shoot out and your face will do this
18. And when it's over, it will be all Wayne Rooney's fault for being too old and in no way our fault for overegging our chances in the first place
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