Review of The Royal, 185 Court Road, Mottingham (From News Shopper)

PubSpy reviews The Royal in Mottingham

3:42pm Monday 28th November 2011 in Pub Spy By PubSpy

DECOR ** (clinically chic) DRINK **** (Fine tasting wine and ale) PRICE *** (overpriced wine but bargain ale) ATMOSPHERE *** (friendly and relaxed but charmless) STAFF **** (welcoming and accommodating) FOOD **** (yummy)

IT IS said the road to hell is paved with good intentions and while the traffic-clogged highway to The Royal doesn’t lead to Lucifer’s lair, its owners will definitely burn in the bum-roasting fires of Beelzebub’s bonfire for being incorrigible try-hards.

The proprietors at this boozer on the corner of a busy crossroads have clearly gone to great lengths to create a fresh, chic and modern looking watering hole without being overly pretentious.

However, the £1.2m makeover has left the pub in desperate need of a charm and character injection.

On the one hand, the fastidious use of soft brown coloured furnishings, conical lampshades and stylishly jumbled pictures on the walls means it has the feel of a bland and clinical hotel lobby bar.

While on the other hand, the over zealous use of distressed wood, from the floors to the tables, chairs and railings, gives it the look of an immaculate sauna.

Unsure whether to check in or strip, splash some water on the coals and whip myself with a birch branch, I headed for the bar where a bubbly young barmaid greeted me with a welcoming smile.

After pouring me a small glass of fresh and crisp Sauvignon Blanc (a stonking £4.20), she informed me the kitchen here only started serving meals during the week about three months ago and they seem pretty proud of their new menu.

On the pub’s website they claim to offer dishes with “flair, style and imagination”.

I was, therefore, disappointed to find the perfectly adequate but humdrum choice of fish and chips, burgers and steaks.

Feeling “adventurous” I went for the scampi and chips (£7.50), swapping the side of mushy peas for the regular garden variety, thanks to the very accommodating chef.

It arrived minutes later, piping hot and beautifully presented, in this way delivering on their aforementioned promises.

It also tasted delicious — the seafood was fluffy and the batter wonderfully crispy.

Completing the dish was a good portion of chips and a salad dressed in a tangy vinaigrette.

The jukebox may lurch disconcertingly from Madonna to The Beatles, but there’s plenty of live music options here, with gigs on Monday and Friday evenings.

With a quiz night on Thursdays and live premiership matches shown on widescreen TVs, there’s entertainment to suit every taste.

Feeling stuffed, I ordered a pint of refreshingly hoppy Adnams Southwold Bitter (a much more reasonable £2.80).

Despite my gripes about the bland decor and uninspiring menu, it’s hard to hate this pub, especially when everyone is putting so much effort into making it a friendly and relaxed place to wine and dine.

It’s definitely a step up from last week’s dive, but the owners of The Royal would be wise to remember sometimes it’s better to play it cool.

Become friends with PubSpy on Facebook or follow him on Twitter @ThePubSpy