When I unexpectedly find myself in Abbey Wood on a lonely Tuesday, there isn’t an awful lot of choice when it comes to pubs.

I enter the Birchwood cautiously, keeping my wallet down my pants so no one would get light fingered around my bits and bobs.

I look around expecting to find gangs of youngsters, perhaps planning their next raids, or maybe some bewildered tourists attracted by the word ‘Thames’.

And instead I find my home.

The most welcoming pub I’ve ever been in, complete with delightful barmaids, a cheap menu full of home comforts and the closest you will ever find to a living room outside your house.

There is a great range of random memorabilia including a knots display, novelty mugs and signs advertising ‘Mel's quiz’. I did feel like it wouldn’t take long to get on first names terms with everyone because the atmosphere was so friendly.


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The barmaid chats away as I put in my order for a glass of Merlot (about £4) and a veggie lasagne with salad and chips (a fiver), asking after my day, the weather, encouraging me to return with my friends. Later she teases a grizzled regular about whether he’d managed to buy a Valentine’s Day present for his wife.

There are lots of snatches of conversation, none of which really make sense, but makes the pub seem friendly, if a little bemusing.

As I sit down to enjoy my wine and struggle to find a seat because the place was so popular, a man next to me mumbles: “Were you after the books?”

"No" I answer, entirely baffled because I can't see any books, and we lapse back into companionable silence. 

Instead I dig into my lasagne which is the perfect size and very satisfying – the man says something else but I don’t really understand and I’m too busy enjoying the cheesy deliciousness.

I sit next to a group of elderly people who are swapping technological grumbles (“I’m getting really cheesed off with my iPad” and “It just says ‘messages’ – is that emails or texts? I just don’t know!”) There also seems to be a birthday gathering in another section of the pub.

So it really feels like there’s a place for everyone at the Birchwood unless you dislike friendly people, in which case, there are plenty of soulless gastropubs in the rest of London for you to choose from.

The Birchwood, Grovebury Road, Thamesmead, London, SE2 9BB

Décor **** Full of slightly cheesy miscellaneous items but all the more welcoming for it

Atmosphere ***** I could have stayed there all day

Staff ***** Really friendly and happy to chat to anyone

Price **** Most meals seemed to be a fiver or less

Drink **** Limited on the wine but plenty more for beer drinkers