HAVE you ever watched One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and thought it could actually be a bit fun in there if it wasn’t for the horrid nurse?

Well, there was no horrid nurse at The Harp and it is possibly the most welcoming pub you could step foot in.

Moments after walking in, I was offered a game of dominoes with the barmaid.

“He don’t even know what it is mate, he’s too young,” hollered a regular from across the bar.

“Anyone can f***ing play, it’s f***ing dominoes,” another yelled back.

It should be noted that all communication in the Harp must be at great volume to compete with the jukebox.

I’m not even sure how much my pint cost because I couldn’t hear the lady. I think it was around three quid.

There was no need to worry about whether an obscure order could be understood, though – the bar was not exactly brimming with choices. The coke and lemonade even came from two litre bottles, house party-style.

Looking around The Harp, it was difficult to see its attraction: it resembles a public lavvy, albeit with a bar, pool table and bizarre collection of taped off chairs bundled on one side like a giant’s improvised game of Pick Up Sticks.

The walls are littered with hand-written notes, including my favourite: “Police notice – no children after 7pm”.

That’s right, bring a little one anywhere near after dark and apparently the Rozzers are getting involved.

But that is to forget the people.

“It’s a madhouse in here, I hope you're enjoying it,” one old boy bellowed at me. I was.

And heading for the door towards a meeting, the domino-doubter pleaded for me to stay.

Arms wide and face incredulous like witnessing a terrible referring decision from the terrace, he bawled: “Stay for another, come on!” God, I wish I could have.

The Harp, New King Street, Deptford

How it rated:

Decor* Like a public toilet

Drink* Not much of a selection

Price *** £3-something for a Strongbow

Atmosphere***** Unbeatable

Staff ***** Lovely