IF BOOKS shouldn't be judged by their cover, pubs shouldn't be judged by their name -but it is tough not to here.

With a name like The Wrong ‘Un – which happens to be a cricketing term for a spinner’s delivery which turns the other way, dontchaknow – this pub lends itself to a scathing review.

Being a contrarian, I was keen to write something nice but I struggled.

With just one window at the end, the pub is dingy- the booths are nice but the rest of the floor space flooded with tables.

Perhaps it is unfair to condemn a pub for its clientele, especially since I had a great time people watching.

It was an unsettling mix of grubby old men and younger men wearing Nike Air Max, tracky bottoms and covered in tattoos.

In one booth, a group of mostly bald blokes sat open-mouthed, dead-eyed chewing on their dinner, each handling their cutlery like they didn’t trust it.

One chap passed our table and had such intrusively loud flatulence that it stopped our conversation dead in its tracks.

Being a ‘Spoons, The Wrong ‘Un is pleasingly cheap. There were four guest ales at around £2.15 or £2.30 a pint and food was inexpensive, and judging by the number of diners it is a good place to go for a quick bite.

I died a little inside when my companion ordered a Decaf Mocha, so it was almost heartening when the no-nonsense barmaid said: “Is that wiv the chocolate fing?”

But then she immediately lost points when I ordered a pint of Kent Breweries’ Beyond the Pale (5.4 per cent, £2.30) and she stared at me blankly - she had no idea what was on the tap directly in front of her.

Service speed was a contentious point for one old boy in a dirty anorak too, who marched off shouting: “Christ, you could fall asleep waiting to get served in ‘ere.”

But I fear I must take some responsibility for that; the barmaid was away making a mocha.

The Wrong ‘Un, Broadway, Bexleyheath

How it rated:

Decor: ** (A plodding opening batsman – orthodox but dull)

Drink: **** (Can play all the shots)

Price: ***** (What a ripper!)

Atmosphere: * (Every type of wrong ‘un imaginable)

Staff: * (Dropped a dolly)