MAYBE they were born on a Crossfire Hurricane, but if you want to mark out Mick and Keef’s old stomping ground then The Dart in Chastilian Road is about bullseye.

As a nipper Keith Richards grew up opposite, above Hi-Lites hairdressers, and Sir Mick Jagger lived just a shot away in Denver Road.

With the legendary hellraisers learning their craft so close, The Dart has a lot to live up to - and it is a beast of a burden.

In a quiet residential patch, the outside looks like a couple of houses chopped about into a pub and I thought looked somewhere homely to gimme shelter.

Inside, thankfully the staff had resisted the temptation to paint it black but unfortunately they declined to do much – it was anonymous.

Anonymous, yet clean and tidy. Nylon flowers failed to perk up tables while walls were featureless bar spare inkjet posters advertising meat raffles and a quiz night.

My feet pattered across the wooden floor like Charlie Watts’ drums though unfortunately the music playing was a spew of 90s R and B.

The range of drinks was standard and will almost certainly lead ale loves to their 19th nervous breakdown. I guess you can’t always get what you want.

As I approached the bar, the petite lady serving was telling a punter – obviously a local – “I’m gonna kill ‘im, and I ain’t even violent.”

Fortunately, I wasn’t “im” although it did put me on edge, and I’m no street fighting man either.

Shrugging off an icy stare – it was as though I’d walked into their living room – I ordered a coke (not Rock and Roll kind).

Now, Keith Richards once said that everyone in Dartford is a thief, which I can in no way endorse, but I did feel aggrieved handing over £2.40 for a soft drink.

Slouching into a big leather sofa, I had mixed emotions – it still felt like l had just wandered into someone’s house but at the same time I relatively comfortable.

I couldn’t get any satisfaction from being there because, acceptable though it was, I just felt they could have done better with the place.

The barmaid had thawed considerably by the time I returned my glass to the bar and left. She smiled and we exchanged ‘thank yous’. Neither of us said ‘see you soon’ because I think we both knew this would be the last time.

The Dart, 30 Chastilian Road, Dartford DA1 3JJ

How it rates (Out of five):

Decor ** (Tidy but anonymous)

Drink * (A greatest hits rather than a deluxe double-album)

Price ** (You won’t need Jagger’s wealth, but it ain’t cheap)

Atmosphere *** (Mysteriously warm)

Staff ** (Frosty to start but human and friendly by the end)