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Review: Sticky Wings: Buffalo Wing Shack.
SITTING on Lewisham road in Lewisham lies Sticky Wings: Buffalo Wing Shack.
With an American flag proudly flapping above the shop, Sticky Fingers promises to be Lewisham's equivalent of real American chicken cuisine.
After seeing succulent pictures of wings in the window, you can imagine my excitement as I stepped through the door.
After gleefully ordering five wings and chips, rubbing my hands together and looking around me in a manner not too dissimilar to Charles Dickens's character Fagin, I was horror-struck when I was told: "Wings are off".
"But you can have boneless wings. Which are really breasts."
My mind flashed with bizarre images of a chicken wearily limping around with breasts for wings - 'how does it that work?' I wondered aloud.
I then switched to a steak burger. There can't be any wings in a steak (I hoped).
But I was told that too was off. This time because of the poor quality of steak in England.
I then asked for the wonder wrap.
I ordered it with fries. It took eight minutes to arrive because everything is prepared to order, using fresh ingredients.
It was at this point that I noticed a massive chunk missing from the counter.
I wondered if this was the result of the last hungry man who had to wait eight minutes, and taken a bite out of the lacquered desk.
Or had gone into a frenzy at the lack of wings.
Or if the famous no-winged bird had waddled in and tried to fly onto to the counter before collapsing and taking it down with it.
The ingredients of the wrap were fresh and it tasted more healthy than most takeaways. There were plenty of chips and they tasted like home fries.
At £2.89 for the rap and £1.50 for fries I was happy. But the buffalo sauce was as subtle as one of Victoria Beckham's smiles.
The mozzarella had a pacifying effect on the dish - rendering it bland.
I left the shop relatively satisfied with what I had eaten, but with my concept US wings cuisine, and the biology of chickens, changed forever.