Hilarious comedian - and Rob Brydon favourite - prepares to bare all at Bromley Comedy Club (From News Shopper)

Hilarious comedian - and Rob Brydon favourite - prepares to bare all at Bromley Comedy Club

3:06pm Friday 21st September 2012 in Freetime latest news By Nikki Jarvis

Most people will visit a confessional if they are desperate to get something off their chest.

But for one very honest Catford comic, there is no better place to own up to her naughtiness than on stage in front of a captive audience.

Carly Smallman is inviting comedy-lovers to enjoy a revealing night of hilarity on October 6, which includes headliner Bob Mills, Jimmy Bird and Joey Page.

The side-splitting evening takes place at Bromley Comedy Club, based at The Churchill Theatre.

Carly, who is known for her shockingly funny songs, will be setting her guitar aside to compere.

She told Vibe: “I tend not to do music when I compere.

“I get the crowd going and make them feel lovely and warm.

“I did improv for years before I started stand-up – I get all my material from the audience and make jokes about them and their lives.

“My favourite one was this man who was with his wife on his birthday.

“I asked him what he got for his present and he sniggered – it was clearly something sexual, so he became BJ Guy for the rest of the set.

“I made up this whole life for him where his friends would ask him to come over for coffee and he’d say ‘I don’t want coffee, I want a BJ.’”

And although former teacher Carly picks on unsuspecting victims in the crowd, it’s always done with a friendly tone.

The bubbly stand-up is always happy to open up on stage.

“I’m very confessional on stage.” She said.

“I talk about sexual experiences and times when I’ve done something wrong, like taken drugs.

“I’m not like that at all – not like a crazy person who gets coked up.

“I don’t agree with it at all, but when I was a student there was one night when I was caning it.

“I’d never in a million years dream of doing something like that again.”

The 26-year-old, who has been a professional comic since 2010, caught her big break when a TV producer saw her perform above a pub in Camden.

She added: “They asked me to come and do some warm up stuff for Rob Brydon and Rob said: “Do you want to be on my show?”

“I was doing teaching training at Ravens Wood School (in Bromley) and I asked the headmaster if he thought I could do it.

“He said: “It doesn’t matter what I say, you’re going to do it.”

“They were really good to me.

“I didn’t ever want to be a teacher really - I wasn’t it for any real reason.

“I didn’t want a real job after all – I just wanted to gallivant around.

“If anyone says comedy isn’t the best job in the world they’re lying.”

After appearing on Rob Brydon’s show and singing about being in love with her brother (who doesn’t truly exist), Carly started getting bookings from all over, not to mention high fives from her students.

She said: “I’ve heard it takes seven years to get good – I’m halfway there.

“I talk a lot about not having a boyfriend and ranting about it.

“I won’t commit to a monthly gym pass and it’s the same with boyfriends.

“I just want to pay £3.50 a visit.”

Catch Carly’s show at the Bromley Comedy Club on Saturday, October 6.

Doors open at 8pm.

For bookings visit bromleycomedy.com or go to carlysmallman.com for more about Carly.