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Dylan Moran shines as Greenwich Comedy Festival comes to a close
Beloved Black Books star Dylan Moran brought the house down when he closed the phenomenal festival on Friday night.
The second this popular Irishman walked on stage, the Big Top erupted with roaring appreciation – the clapping and cheering went on, and on, and on – to which he told us: “I get that every morning when I walk into my kitchen, it does nothing for me anymore.”
It’s not hard to see why this endearing pessimist is so adored.
He’s almost like a human version of Eeyore, but Irish, slightly rude and unbelievably funny.
Moran predicts the Olympics is going to be a “jumping up and down festival” during which we all look like crazy fleas and I have a nervous feeling he’s right.
Talk of creatures continued with a fantastic story about his friend’s dog Mr Beans (who got his name eating beans) and spiralled into wild comparisons between Donald Trump’s hair and an orangutan’s vagina.
Wow, does Moran dislike this American billionaire.
In an extraordinarily plausible – and rather poetic – assessment, he told us Trump is a cross between a pig, a shark, an even bigger pig and a dead blonde squirrel – genius.
We were being treated to brand new material from this insanely talented legend and every word was gold.
I adored his hilarious appraisal of ridiculous clothes magazines which feature stripy, nautically themed outfits on impossibly happy people by the sea.
“They are literally howling into their snoods at the puppy who’s just ran into the sea” he said, his set becoming funnier by the second.
But people really lost the plot when Moran started talking about couples.
Established relationships, like the one he has with his wife, take commitment and lots of hard work, he says.
In undoubtedly the best description of marriage I’ve ever heard, Moran said it’s like running a lemonade stand together on an iceberg, after you’ve just been shot in the leg, and you’ve no clothes on, and there’s no lemonade and you can’t remember which one tricked the other into starting the business.
That was it – it sounded like people had literally wet themselves.
In a first for compere Chris Ramsey, the Geordie welcomed the headliner back for an encore.
There was no way on earth the crowd was letting Moran go without a second helping and more tales of romance.
I found myself vividly picturing all of his jokes – and couldn’t help but squeal imagining his wife looking at him with disgust in the cinema during a shoot-em-up.
“You love all this *** - you’re trying to do that Robert Downy Jr look of intense charm and vague criminality,” She said to him, “but with you it just looks like piles.”
I’ve never heard such deafening applause for a live comic and it was truly deserved.
Sean Lock may have had me in hysterics but Moran had the edge with undeniable star quality.
Congratulations Greenwich Comedy Festival – you absolutely nailed it.