No sex, no drugs but PubSpy sees signs of rock and roll at The Five Bells in Chelsfield

News Shopper: No sex, no drugs but PubSpy sees signs of rock and roll at The Five Bells in Chelsfield No sex, no drugs but PubSpy sees signs of rock and roll at The Five Bells in Chelsfield

FOLLOWING a month of beat-downs, kinkiness, dodgy pints, and general hostility – and just a few gems in between -  PubSpy decided to retire to the countryside to lick his wounds.

It was a blessed relief to be at a pub where the regulars were not knocking ten bells out of each other, where I could sip a summery cider, and that pub was The Five Bells in Chelsfield.

From what I saw, there was little in the way of sex and drugs, though the pub’s busy entertainment schedule was rammed with rock and roll.

Among the traditional Irish folk, open mic nights and tribute bands is a weekly charity quiz, all of which point to The Five Bells being more of a social hub than a simple drinking hole.

The small bar area was abuzz with conversation when I popped in for an early evening drink.

My fellow drinkers appeared to me to be decent folk – a real mixture of men and women of a range of ages.

The music was turned down pleasingly low and crumpled under the hum of busy conversation.

To be honest, it should have been expected. The Five Bells was the Campaign for Real Ale’s South East London Pub of the Year in 2010 and a runner-up last year.

I’ll be honest, I wasn’t the world’s biggest fan of the layout. I can understand the desire to have a separate (and from what I understand, pretty successful) restaurant section but it makes the bar feel cramped. The insipid paint jobs weren’t really to my liking either.

It was nice that the two sections felt like they had a separate identity, I suppose.

The Five Bells, Church Road, Chelsfield

How it rated:

Atmosphere ***** (friendly folk)
Staff *** (did their jobs well)
Drink *** (a reasonable range but lacks excitement)
Price *** (Strongbow £3.80 a pint)
Decor *** (functional inside, pretty outside)

Comments (9)

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12:20pm Fri 11 Apr 14

Gypo.Joe says...

No sex, no drugs, oh well wont be going in there anytime soon.
No sex, no drugs, oh well wont be going in there anytime soon. Gypo.Joe
  • Score: -17

1:03pm Fri 11 Apr 14

PaulErith says...

Been to this boozer. Nice little place, although a little too posh for me! (Prefer spit and sawdust pubs). At least pubspy won't be intimidated by anyway laughing loudly or generally having a good time.
Been to this boozer. Nice little place, although a little too posh for me! (Prefer spit and sawdust pubs). At least pubspy won't be intimidated by anyway laughing loudly or generally having a good time. PaulErith
  • Score: 14

5:16pm Fri 11 Apr 14

Dr. Nick says...

I went to this pub some years back with a friend. It was very quiet and there was a man with a dog at the bar. The dog was on a bar-stool drinking from a bowl on the counter. Later when the dog fell off the stool (one can only imagine due to the effects of alcohol) the mans said "Oh, time to go I think now" and promptly got up and left with a slightly staggering dog. A very odd night and one which I shall always remember fondly as it was the weekend before I joined up. I really should go back there and see what's changed.
I went to this pub some years back with a friend. It was very quiet and there was a man with a dog at the bar. The dog was on a bar-stool drinking from a bowl on the counter. Later when the dog fell off the stool (one can only imagine due to the effects of alcohol) the mans said "Oh, time to go I think now" and promptly got up and left with a slightly staggering dog. A very odd night and one which I shall always remember fondly as it was the weekend before I joined up. I really should go back there and see what's changed. Dr. Nick
  • Score: -6

10:52pm Fri 11 Apr 14

Coling57 says...

You went to the 5 bells and didn't try the restaurant? Why not judge the place on the whole package? Best pub menu in the county!
You went to the 5 bells and didn't try the restaurant? Why not judge the place on the whole package? Best pub menu in the county! Coling57
  • Score: 5

8:13am Sat 12 Apr 14

sarfflondonbird says...

Gypo.Joe wrote:
No sex, no drugs, oh well wont be going in there anytime soon.
That brings on a sigh of relief to know you won't be dropping in.
[quote][p][bold]Gypo.Joe[/bold] wrote: No sex, no drugs, oh well wont be going in there anytime soon.[/p][/quote]That brings on a sigh of relief to know you won't be dropping in. sarfflondonbird
  • Score: 16

8:15am Sat 12 Apr 14

sarfflondonbird says...

Dr. Nick wrote:
I went to this pub some years back with a friend. It was very quiet and there was a man with a dog at the bar. The dog was on a bar-stool drinking from a bowl on the counter. Later when the dog fell off the stool (one can only imagine due to the effects of alcohol) the mans said "Oh, time to go I think now" and promptly got up and left with a slightly staggering dog. A very odd night and one which I shall always remember fondly as it was the weekend before I joined up. I really should go back there and see what's changed.
No oooo..... Please don't.
[quote][p][bold]Dr. Nick[/bold] wrote: I went to this pub some years back with a friend. It was very quiet and there was a man with a dog at the bar. The dog was on a bar-stool drinking from a bowl on the counter. Later when the dog fell off the stool (one can only imagine due to the effects of alcohol) the mans said "Oh, time to go I think now" and promptly got up and left with a slightly staggering dog. A very odd night and one which I shall always remember fondly as it was the weekend before I joined up. I really should go back there and see what's changed.[/p][/quote]No oooo..... Please don't. sarfflondonbird
  • Score: 14

12:41pm Sat 12 Apr 14

Gypo.Joe says...

sarfflondonbird wrote:
Gypo.Joe wrote:
No sex, no drugs, oh well wont be going in there anytime soon.
That brings on a sigh of relief to know you won't be dropping in.
No chance you, not even with a bin liner over ya fat old face.

You've been ridden hard and put away wet far too often, not even if you paid fer the beer.

THAnk yOu
[quote][p][bold]sarfflondonbird[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]Gypo.Joe[/bold] wrote: No sex, no drugs, oh well wont be going in there anytime soon.[/p][/quote]That brings on a sigh of relief to know you won't be dropping in.[/p][/quote]No chance you, not even with a bin liner over ya fat old face. You've been ridden hard and put away wet far too often, not even if you paid fer the beer. THAnk yOu Gypo.Joe
  • Score: -15

8:29pm Sun 13 Apr 14

sarfflondonbird says...

Gypo.Joe wrote:
sarfflondonbird wrote:
Gypo.Joe wrote:
No sex, no drugs, oh well wont be going in there anytime soon.
That brings on a sigh of relief to know you won't be dropping in.
No chance you, not even with a bin liner over ya fat old face.

You've been ridden hard and put away wet far too often, not even if you paid fer the beer.

THAnk yOu
What you rambling on about there you old fossil?
[quote][p][bold]Gypo.Joe[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]sarfflondonbird[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]Gypo.Joe[/bold] wrote: No sex, no drugs, oh well wont be going in there anytime soon.[/p][/quote]That brings on a sigh of relief to know you won't be dropping in.[/p][/quote]No chance you, not even with a bin liner over ya fat old face. You've been ridden hard and put away wet far too often, not even if you paid fer the beer. THAnk yOu[/p][/quote]What you rambling on about there you old fossil? sarfflondonbird
  • Score: 9

2:25am Tue 15 Apr 14

Fromswanleynotagypo says...

£3.80 for a pint of strongbow?!
£3.80 for a pint of strongbow?! Fromswanleynotagypo
  • Score: 0

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