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COMEDY: Laughs all round at Up The Creek in Greenwich
Comedy performances fill me with a mixture of excitement, happiness and fear.
The excitement comes from the anticipation of seeing a fresh original show where anything could happen or go wrong.
The happiness comes from the undiluted joy of laughing out loud in a room full of people doing exactly the same.
The fear is all down to my old music teacher Mrs Stacey who cruelly forced me to sing Silent Night in front of my classmates at the age of six.
I can still remember vividly the burning rush of red flowing over my face and the noise of the children laughing as my stuttering, flaky voice jumped from octave to octave.
So, Mrs Stacey, if you are reading this, it is because of you that I dragged my pretty date onto the back row of Up The Creek in Greenwich, safe in the knowledge I was out of the gaze of the five comedians with a 10-row ‘humiliation barrier’.
First up was the stunningly talented MC Holly Walsh with a razor sharp wit capable of bringing down even the cleverest of heckles.
Walsh gave the night a beautiful seamless flow, timing her introductions to perfection and centring her sets around a common theme – Sid.
Chief heckler Sid, from Barking, sat towards the right of the stage shouting out inane rubbish with his filthy cockney accent but unwittingly providing a feeding frenzy of material for the hungry comics.
Pete Cain was the first act of the night and shocked the audience with his take on immigration, abortion and marriage.
His solution to the government’s inability to keep track of how many people are in the UK? Kick everyone out – and then count them back in again. If you have a worthwhile job "like a nurse", you’re allowed back in. Sadly, one poor audience member confessed to being a "flood control manager". Ouch. He was out.
And how does Pete feel the "quiet period" should be used while the UK is empty? Get all the potholes fixed of course!
Next up was Evelyn Mok – a Swedish performer with Chinese roots. "I love sushi" shouted Sid. "Sushi’s from Japan you f**king idiot" replied Mok.
Bryan Lacey supplied the more traditional London comedy set. His cheeky face and observational humour received some of the biggest laughs of the night.
In a scene on hen-dos and stag-nights he pointed out that ladies gather round the hen protecting it fearlessly from the unwanted advances of men and shielding it from humiliation.
Men, on the otherhand, offer up their stag like a sacrificial lamb, and then take naked pictures of it for good measure.
Headline act Milo McCabe did not disappoint. The character comedian appeared as his most famous role Philberto - a Portuguese reality TV show winner.
His mixture of angry rants at Sid, novel audience interaction and deliberately awful rapping to the bass tune of Ice Ice Baby literally made one woman on the front row double-over in laughter. Respect.
DÉCOR **** Up The Creek is sultry, warm and charming. You fall in love as soon as you walk in.
ATMOSPHERE **** Rowdy but respectful. Everyone walks out of Up The Creek with a massive smile on their face.
COMEDY**** A variety of styles and standards is all you can ask for STAFF***** Even the bouncers are friendly!
VALUE FOR MONEY**** £10 per ticket while £18 will get you a bottle of red wine and two packets of crisps
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