One of the most important lessons I ever discovered about dating is that desire always overcomes logistics.
That means if she says she’s busy washing her hair, she doesn’t want to see you.
That means if he says he’s got to catch up with his mate, you’re just not as important.
That means if they cancel last minute because they’ve been ‘running around like a headless chicken’; they are being thoughtless.
Don’t get me wrong having your own independent life is great.
Letting the person you’re dating have their own life/ friends/ whatever is the smart and confident thing to do.
Just don’t go fooling yourself that if a person is ‘genuinely really busy’ week after week that you’re a high priority to them.
People make excuses and ‘work’ is a classic one.
Once you’ve accepted this fact and you know where you stand you can start to work on the important things that will allow you to really attract them.
Funnily enough this doesn’t involve changing your plans to move around theirs; meeting closer to where they live; or snatching a quick 30 minute coffee with them.
It means saying to yourself ‘ok they’re not that into me yet; how do I change that?’
Because when you have enough desire people will always find a way to see you. Even if it means hopping on a night bus, racing across town to see you for half an hour, or staying up all night to make sure they’ve chatted with you until dawn.
Hayley Quinn is a leading london dating coach. See what she does at hayleyquinn.com or get in touch with her at Hayley@hayleyquinn.com
READ more of Hayley's advice:
- Three very simple criteria on who is suitable to date
- Staying true to yourself
- Quit whining Mr Nice Guy
- How to get men to approach you
- Making small talk less like an interrogation
- Mastering eye contact
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