Matthew Jenkin cracks open the bubbly for this year’s 56th Eurovision Song Contest.
A ROYAL wedding, two four-day weekends in a row and one of the hottest Aprils on record — it’s like Christmas came early, twice.
With the traditional five-day working week beginning to feel like nothing more than a shadowy distant memory, many readers this week will have reason to grumble and little to look forward to.
Saturday’s Eurovision Song Contest grand final on BBC1 at 8pm will bring little joy or comfort to those po-faced workers who flinch at the very mention of Bucks Fizz or The Brotherhood of Man.
However, for viewers who love nothing more than giggling at our continental neighbours’ eccentric taste in music and watching the curdled cream of Europop, complete with velcro-ripping costumes and more mullets than in a fishmonger’s shop window, perform weirdly choreographed dance routines while belting out songs cheesier than a Swiss fondue, then it’s finally time to crack open that bubbly you have left over from Wills and Kate’s big day and get suitably sozzled for a night of gay abandon and gloriously bad taste.
This year’s contest at the Esprit Arena in Dusseldorf, Germany, sees king of the camp Graham Norton return as commentator, brightening up the entertainment with his inimitable brand of observational humour and witty asides.
Many feared the BBC’s coverage of would lose its sense of humour with the departure of Terry Wogan but, as last year proved, Norton more than holds his own in the role.
Our hopes at the 56th edition of the competition are riding on re-united boyband Blue.
Though the group — Lee Ryan, Antony Costa, Simon Webbe and Duncan James — are optimistic their song I Can will bring the UK its first victory since Katrina and the Waves’ 1997 triumph, many experts have tipped operatic tenor Amaury Vassili to scoop the prize for France with his epic ballad Sognu.
The host nation on the other hand is banking on last year’s winner Lena Meyer-Landrut to bag votes from viewers and the panel of judges and is aiming to become the first singer to win back-to-back Eurovision titles.
However, those of a nervous disposition or allergic to annoying teenage twins with squeaky voices and a combined IQ of 10, be warned, because former X Factor hopefuls Jedward are threatening to qualify in Thursday’s semi-finals. Nil point please.
While in the past Eurovision has spawned some of the world’s biggest pop stars, including Abba and Celine Dion, it’s increasingly naff reputation spells career suicide for many of its performers.
Therefore, let’s pray this is the last we see of the brothers Grimes.
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