Dealing with pester power (From News Shopper)

Dealing with pester power

2:20pm Monday 6th November 2006

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Isn't it the same every Christmas? As soon as the barrage of toy adverts hits the TV screens, you promise yourself you won't give in to your children's pleas.

"Oh, I want that! Cor, I'm going to ask Santa for one of those!" And wouldn't you do the same if you thought it all came free?

As the advertisers happily do the thing they do best, your children's wish lists get longer and longer - and slowly your panic begins to rise.

You can't afford it all, your kids don't need it all ... but how can you possibly disappoint them?

Here comes pester power.

"At Christmas, children are bombarded by television adverts and shops stacked full of tempting toys," says Sandra Hiller, of Parentline Plus. "Parents often begin to dread this season of high pressure pester power, and feel they have to buy everything their children want.

"But they are not the only ones to feel it. The children themselves often demand the latest toys, clothes and gadgets because they are desperate to fit in."

Of course, we all like to spoil our children. There is nothing better than seeing their smiles on Christmas morning when Santa delivers the goods.

"But we don't have bottomless purses, and none of us ever gets everything we want in life," says Hiller. "With all its abundance, Christmas is the best time of year to teach children this important lesson."

So as the madness, mayhem and magic of Christmas take hold, Parentline Plus is offering tips to help you say no to pester power.

• Tell children that even Santa can't bring everything, and ask them to list presents in order of preference, with a limit of five.

• Don't say yes unless you mean it. If your child puts you on the spot, tell them you'll think about it. Agreeing in haste may mean you have to break a promise.

• When you say no, mean that too! If they think you'll cave in, they'll just keep on trying.

• Agree tactics with your partner so you don't undermine each other. When Christmas involves an ex-partner, try to agree ground rules too.

• If you say no, it may help to talk about why. You can be honest with older children and say if you can't afford it, or think they are asking too much. Don't get caught up in haggling.

• Be understanding. You might not see the great importance of having the latest trainers, but these things can really matter to a child. So if you say no, try not to be flippant about it.

• Avoid buying your children something every time you go out. Make treats what they are meant to be - treats - especially in the run-up to Christmas.

• Above all, remember this: children change their minds at the drop of a hat. What they "can't live without" today, they'll have forgotten about tomorrow.

So listen to what they want and do what you can. But don't lose sleep or go into debt ... because the chances are they'll love whatever they rip open on Christmas Day.

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